Bands on the Run
The Reunion Show

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Alex Richmond: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Best. Reunion Show. Ever.

SOLEILMOONFRYE deplane. Apey drops to the airport floor and kisses it. That is nasty. He could get mad cow disease from that! Then he says, "Bocci balls." WTF? Apey is a freak. ["My mother says that all the time, but as a curse. I don't get why he said it then either." -- Sars] Sutton and Ramsey's girlfriends run up and get some love. Hey, Ramsey didn't cheat on his woman! There's hope for me yet! Thank god for Ramsey. Sutton takes a photo of them all and asks, "Are you guys friends?" Beastie-itis sing-songingly responds, "We're not friends, we're faaaam-ily." Then he blows a raspberry. Shut up, Beastie. Oh shit, he's still talking. He says, "We didn't win, but we didn't lose. We made it to the end, okay?" Oh my god. Then he says how this whole experience made him see "how different from the rest" the CRACK is, and how they're all best friends and shit. Oh, barf. "I'm in one of the greatest bands ever." Oh, BARF. They run around to one of SEWERMUCKER's houses, which overlooks the ocean, and is gorgeous. I hate those fucking guys.

HARLOW'S turn! Rebecca sits behind her drums and talks over an adorable montage of Harlow footage. This was "an incredible learning experience" for her, especially for her and Rayshele, since they never toured before. "Maybe we can be good!" Mmmaybe. They came off the road and went right into Grand Master Studio, in Hollywood. There's a cute bit when they all play, then stop, but Rebecca keeps on drumming. Aww, studio fuck-ups are so cute. Hey, Pat Smear is producing! Not Dan's Cuban boyfriend Johnny from the Miami Real World, but the real Pat Smear! Chimene details Pat's musical lineage from the Germs (why does everyone say they were so influential? Maybe the most name-dropped in the nineties, but most influential? Prove it), to Nirvana (now there's an influential band for you), to the Foo Fighters. They show the ersatz-Mentos Foo Fighters video in case people need reminding. Hey, it's really Pat Smear! I love Pat Smear. He runs around strapping on Amanda's guitar, and Rebecca explains that Amanda and Pat met when they were on a tour together, Fluffy and Foo Fighters. Then they both became disenchanted and decided to quit their bands, and she moved out to L.A. and they became "best friends." Rebecca thinks his name will lend them cred since Pat is who he is, and that he's a friend too. Hey, you know what I heard? That Rebecca and Pat are DOING IT. You know, sitting in a tree? K-I-S-S-you know the rest? But we get no indication of that here. That's the thing about reality television: they can't use what you don't show them. Then Rayshele makes some noise about how being in a band is "saving her life" and this is what she's always wanted to do. Well, hooray.

DODES, you're up. They're playing at the Bitter End in NYC, which has been a weekly gig for them for ages. The house is packed, and who is that seated next to Maiya, the back-up singer? It's MBTV's own Djb! He's singing along and making "band face" and everything! He looks so cute! Aw, that warms my heart. And Maiya quit the band because she graduated college and moved back to L.A., where she's from, and wants to pursue "more of her own stuff." Adrian the stripey-haired other back-up singer so helpfully tells us that that is impossible to do when you're a "DODES bitch." Please tell me that Josh does not refer to his back-up singers that way. Who wants to be anyone's bitch? Unless if she means that being in the JDB is like being in jail. Maiya, GOOD FOR YOU for doing what you want to do. Sars, don't ever call your recapping staff your bitches. Daryl says that the JAYDEEBEE is "the best unsigned band in New York, the best unsigned band in America, so record company people, wake the fuck up." Hey, my b.f. saw the FLOWDES's (independently released) record in Tower. He got so excited he ran right over to the H's to see if Harlow's record had come out yet. Not yet!

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Bands on the Run

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