Weeds

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Bash

"Little Boxes" is brought to you this week by Tim DeLaughter of the Polyphonic Spree, and then we're in a rough-ish neighbourhood, in an unmarked car with Peter and his partner, Agent Fundis. Our first introduction to this guy is when he lets out a loud, painful-sounding burp. Peter bitches that it's gross, but Fundis says he can't help it; he has an acid-reflux problem. Apparently the grossness of his burps is what kicks off the raid is that Peter can't stand to sit in the car with him any longer, and radios that they should move out.

And move out they do. It's all very macho until an agent busts down the door and finds, inside, a very sedate Koran study group, led by Joseph. Peter, totally confounded, asks what the fuck is going on, and Joseph pompously tells him to curtail his foul language while he's in a place of worship. Peter asks where Heylia is, and we see one of the white-shrouded heads rise up, and Heylia, in costume, submissively comes over, keeping her eyes downcast. Joseph instructs Peter not to address her directly; now that she's embraced Islam, it's no longer her custom to converse with unfamiliar men. Peter, after a beat, tells his dudes to search the place. Joseph does not look scared. Fundis sarcastically congratulates him on a nice bust, burping again. Guy, please get some Tums. I think I smelled that one from here.

In her master bath, Nancy is in her nightie, shaving her legs in the tub. Do women actually do this? What's so wrong with shaving in the shower? How do you stand shaving when the lather's all, like, dry? Doesn't it reduce your drag coefficient and give you a bumpy shave? I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU. Anyway, Peter busts in and, surprising Nancy, causes her to jerk her razor and give herself a giant cut. He asks if she thinks this is a game, and demands to know whether she told Heylia herself, or if she got her "boy" to do it. Nancy says that Heylia's always been straight with her. They go back and forth, each telling the other, "I gave you the Armenians!" There's a long (beautiful) silence, and then Peter says the obvious: that this isn't working. He also says they both know what needs to be done. Nancy says she doesn't. Peter: "One of us needs to quit her job." Nancy asks why it has to be her. Peter condescendingly says that "'drug dealer' is not a career." "Then why do I make more money than you?" asks Nancy. Touché. Peter says that she got into dealing because she had no other choice, but now he's offering her one: "Marry me. For real. Mail in the certificate. Tell your kids. Be my wife." "How romantic," says Nancy. He tells her she'll have to forgive her if he doesn't spread rose petals at her feet, and Nancy, after a moment, says she thinks he should leave. Peter tells her to have a nice fucking day. You guys, I don't think he actually means it.

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