When Emma overhears Bradley's million interchangeable bitches making fun of her relationship with Norman, she decides to set them straight about the sexy facts, which ruptures Norman's tenuous peace with Bradley and freaks him out so bad he nearly goes Mother on poor doomed Miss Watson. The school's suggestion of therapy puts Norma on her most narcissistic hotseat yet, to the point where she's asked to leave future sessions and will no doubt end with her Forrest Gumping the therapist soon.
When she's not taking the opportunity to prove how crazy her ass and Norman both are -- while trying desperately to do the opposite -- Norma's also alienating the shit out of Sheriff Romero, who's bemused to find her on his doorstep asking for City Council favors like minutes after getting his deputy killed and putting the town's ten kinds of bad news on shout. I don't think I've ever sided against Norma in a single scene to date, loony as she is, but Romero's "We are not fucking friends" speech is the closest I've come.
And then of course there's our favorite sex-murderer guy, the Man in #9, who menaces her about some towels and questions her about her relationship with Zach Shelby, to the point that she ends up following him all over town, and eventually getting ambushed down at the docks. When he tries to find out more about what happened to their whole brilliant sex-slave operation she ruined -- eventually intimating that he was at the top of that particular pyramid, and not a mere client at all -- she Normas out on his ass, making all kinds of demands... And by episode's end, she's come home to Shelby's gross dead body in her bed.
Which is made all the sadder by Dylan's B-story, which involves a road trip with sexy Remo to beautiful Fortuna, CA, to pick up a bunch of dirty damned hippies to help with this year's marijuana crop. One adorable barfight later, they've gotten into a dick-measuring contest over who hates the hippies more, which ends in a bunch of roadside drama and weird vibes. When Dylan turns up with his boatload of drug buddies looking for a place to stay for a few weeks, Norma is beyond thrilled, and even offers to take Dylan on their first mother/son date... Which is when she finds the body.
Beyond being utterly and publicly humiliated, suspended from school for what Miss Watson only thinks is erratic and violent behavior, and getting over the loss of his sweet little doggie, Norman doesn't have a lot to do. He picks up some tricks of the taxidermy trade from Emma's dad, Professor Quirrell, which eventually Norma fails to derail after getting some sad backstory on their family.
And, of course, the MVP this week falls once again to Emma's sense of disclosure, as she explains -- to a sweetly rational, measured Norman -- that yes she did tell everybody he slept with Bradley, and yes it was partly because she is in love with him, but more importantly they were being bitches and she couldn't stand it. They end on a BFF note, which won't last long but sure did prove Emma's integrity and wisdom yet again.
Next Week: Norma finally figures out that White Pine Bay is pretty much hell on earth, but nobody cares because they have been trying to tell her that for eight episodes. Dylan presumably falls deeper and deeper in love and total hate with sexy Remo. But the main thing is how #9 steps up his aggression and threatens to kill the boys, and Norma herself, if he can't get his (torture-porn comic book?) back. So I guess Emma's back on Death Watch? Aw, shoot.
Norman had a dog named Juno for a hot minute, and then she died just from knowing him. A total creepster showed up at the motel, tripping all of Dylan's red flags and zero of Norma's, even after he all but specifically told her he was a sex murderer and would be using the motel for a week of sex murders every other month. Norman creeped out Bradley by Nice Guying her almost to death, even after she all but specifically told her their sex was going to be meaningless. It was one of Norman's worst days!
Will Dekody: "Little boy, this is how you taxidermy a dog."
Norman: "I don't know what normal is!"
Will, verbatim: "The art of it is to recreate the beauty of motion in something still. To create life if you will. Here is where we'll make incisions... Then you have to take everything out."
Norman: "That's fine. I figured. Viscera, et cetera."
Will: "I'm sorry your dog died, on the one hand, but on the other hand isn't this so fun?"
Norman: "I thought it would be dishonorable to just bury her in the ground. She gets so lonely."
Will: "It's okay to project your feelings onto an animal, especially a dead one. Especially if you're not even talking about the dog, but your future taxidermied mom."
Norman: "I must say, I'm very impressed by your aplomb."
Will: "Would you like a job here? Your sociopathic lack of affect right now and your adorably affable nature in general make you well-suited to the morbid professions."
Norman: "If there is any way to make you my dad without having to marry your daughter, count me in!"
Emma's having a private CF meltdown in the bathroom when Bradley's interchangeable bitches show up and immediately start fawning over how great Bradley is, just like you assume they would; particularly today they are amazed by how gracefully she condescends to Norman Bates.
Girl: "I feel so bad for him!"
Girl: "I know! Because he's so pathetic."
Girl: "We're not sympathetic so much as monsters."
Girl: "I think Norman Bates might have actual mental issues."
Girl: "I know! It's funny. But also sad. But mostly funny. Teenagers are the devil."
Girl: "It's because we're not finished growing up yet!"
Girl: "Like how Norman thinks he's gonna tap that. Not even Bradley is dead enough on the inside to swipe that hot mess's v-card."