Bates Motel
A Boy & His Dog

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A
A Most Stormy Life

Jake: "Oh, no it is not."
Norma: "Blee blah blee! Argh! I have fucking had it with these motherfucking men in my motherfucking life!"
Jake: "You need to dial it way the fuck back, lady. I'm telling you this as a favor."

Norma: "Okay, fine. Still kind of on a rush from when I ate the face off that therapist. But listen, seriously. Do you want me to call the cops and tell them how you are a sex murderer and how I have been turning a blind eye to it because I have no idea what is going on right now?"

Jake: "What about you fucking Zack Shelby?"
Norma: "You go fuck Zack Shelby, how do you like them apples? I'm not afraid of you! You have no power over me!"
Jake: "Lady I'm not the Goblin King, I am a sex slaver and I will totally kill you."
Norma: "I will call the police if you don't pack your shit about bounce! GO! GO! GO!"
Jake: "Um, fine. See you in about a hot second when you realize I'm totally in with them too because how else would I get the [spoiler] I'm about to leave in your house. For such a smart lady you sure don't get how this town works at all. Which is funny because you are the main person we've been putting on this show for, and you never seem to pick up on it."


Emma: "Norman, if you're going to be living here half the time I think we should clear the air. It's going to be tough to be each other's only friend if you're gonna keep prissing out whenever I show up."
Norman: "Yeah, you're right. What's up?"
Emma: "They were being bitches about you. Specifically that Bradley would never in a million years fuck you because you are pathetic and weird. It pissed me off because I think you are so special, and so much better than any of them, and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. So I'm sorry."
Norman: "Now that is a fucking apology, sister. Well done."

"Not finished. I wanted to clear the facts up also because I didn't want you to think I had ulterior motives. Yes, I am in love with you. Yes, I'm comfortable with you knowing that because I am a fucking saint and the coolest person in the world. But I don't have any expectations of you because of that because -- unlike you, apparently -- I understand that just wanting somebody to like you back is not the same thing as them having to do so. So we are friends, okay? You are incredibly special to me, and I feel safe with you, and I don't have any other friends, which doesn't bother me because you are still the best one. My entire life is about managing expectations, so please do me the solid of not assuming you can read my mind: Trust me, I will tell you what is on my mind. And right now, those expectations are managed, and I'm not trying to manipulate you or do anything other than what I am actually doing, right in front of you, which is being awesome as hell."

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Bates Motel




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