Bates Motel
A Boy & His Dog

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: A
A Most Stormy Life

Norma: "I can come back later! And in a less housemaid-y outfit!"
Jake: "I insist."

Well, you know Norma and the amazing way her body does everything, so she cleans around his scary self, and is just generally both flippant and paranoid at the same time. At one point she absentmindedly twangs the fake-wood trim peeling off a bedside table and it is literally one of the funniest things you've ever seen. She makes everything so great.

Jake: "Hey, I heard about a death!"
Norma: "Yeah, my son's dog died just from knowing him. It was a real fucking hassle."
Jake: "No, I meant that cop guy that I used to have murder orgies with. Did you know him?"
Norma: "Who knows anybody, really?"
Jake: "But I mean, you knew him. Correct?"
Norma: "I knew parts of him. Some better than others. You might say we knew opposite versions of him. Then I met your Shelby and then he was dead."

He menaces enough that she knocks a lamp over and immediately heads for the door to replace the bulb slash get the fuck out of there.

Jake: "Keep cleaning! You must keep going! I am so dirty!"
Norma: "...My son Norman. He's my go-to excuse for getting the hell out of places."
Jake: "He's at school. Or wandering around setting shit on fire with his mind."
Norma: "I know! That's why I have to go!"

There is some very terrifying business with the cart, where he jerks her to a stop and then his creepy velvet hands retrieve some towels from the cart, and then she's out, and then -- I honestly don't know how she got it to do this, or how many takes it took -- she shoves the cart off down the corridor, and it swings wide like carts do, and it's so awkward and so funny and she just Normas her way through it like she can't hear the blumpty-blumpty music of the America's Funniest Home Videos contender she and the cart are currently producing.

Jake: "Okay, well, if I need anything else -- like to sex murder you -- I'll just come to the office, okay?"
Norma: "Sounds great!"


The distractingly beautiful lady finally lets Norma in to see the Sheriff, and his affect is so cold and unmoved -- and literally unmoving -- that you get this Muppet Babies feeling of maybe they are just using the same footage of him staring at her crazy ass the entire time she's melting down.

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Bates Motel




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