Bates Motel

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A+

Norman: "You should go! Alone, pathetic. Staring with your big beautiful eyes at all the things you'll never have and don't deserve."
Emma: "Or alternately, you could ask me to the dance. The thing a human person would do."
Norman: "I didn't even think of that! Okay, let's do it. It's only charitable."
Emma: "Your words are hurtful, but your adorable delivery makes it seem like flirting."


Norma: "So here's some French toast, you can taste that I made it with love. Because today, that is what I feel. Don't get used to it. Get me a gun."
Dylan: "Norma, there are a lot of things I would do for just a crumb of your affection. But I feel like it needs to be said that you are ass-crazy, and should not have a gun."
Norma: "Little backstory on that. I am being extorted for a hundred fifty grand by a sex-slaving resurrectionist who is going to kill all of us, starting with Norman and then you."
Dylan: "Maybe I can help in another way. Like some way where you don't end up shooting me, for example, purely out of acting nuts. Like you're doing. Right now."
Norma: "That's exactly what goddamn Romero said."


Romero, of course. I would like that to be because of his non-slavery relationship with Zach -- who did seem to have real affection for Alex, just as he did for Norma -- but also because him being the Third Man doesn't jibe with his conversation with Abernathy at the end of the episode. All we know is that Jake keeps saying, "If you don't have the money, who has it?" and the answer is "A person unrelated to any of this," with of course the caveat that he's related to all of it, being that he is the most worthless sheriff in the history of sheriffing, and is in fact so bad at it that he is the opposite of it.


Norma bumps into a dude on her way in to secretly see her son's therapist, and the guy's like, "Whatever," and she flips out on him. Sometimes you just gotta scream at a guy on the street, you know? His appalled side-eye in response is so powerful that even Norma is like, "Maybe I should think about getting my shit together. Even just occasionally."

Norma: "I'm here for my appointment! That I didn't make!"
Kurata: "Okay, firstly where is your kid?"
Norma: "He's at school, why?"
Kurata: "Okay. Actually for the record you cancelled last week, and never called to reschedule. So this is not just negligence -- it's actually crazy."

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Bates Motel




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