Bates Motel
Ocean View

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 11 USERS: A

Norma: "That will be satisfactory."


Shelby: "Hey, Regina, our distractingly beautiful dispatcher. Could you help me with some basic shit? I'm just your average bumbling hot white guy, playing the Homer Simpson card..."
Regina: "I've been conditioned by culture to indulge this act and will be leaving to get you that paperwork just long enough for you to rewire the station's internal cameras, sneak the evidence room key out of Romero's desk, steal the carpet sample and bumble your ass back out here."
Shelby: "Thanks!"


Dylan finds the junkie that killed Ethan and runs him the fuck over. But not before stalking him through the streets and then vrooming toward him, in a very scary and suspenseful sequence, to the point that when the junkie kid ends up a thin jelly on the road. You're kind of shocked it really happened but moreso relieved that it's over.

Presumably then Dylan goes to a strip club to cry for a while.


While Emma connects the dots from Shelby's disappearing sex slave back to Keith Summers and then to Keith Summers's boat where Shelby may have stashed his sex slave before Norma slept over, Norma's at the motel poking a bruise: the Bates Motel website includes a picture of the two of them, Norma and Norman, in happier days: "The Team," it's brightly titled. Ironic and sad, but also kind of like she's stalking him on Facebook. Ring ring!

Craig: "Mrs. Bates? It's Rebecca Craig. I am delightful."
Norma: "Damn, I was hoping it was Norman. Or really anybody but you."
Craig: "Not so fast, crazy. Your case just got thrown out. I was going to request a separate DNA test on the carpet fibers but they..."
Norma: "Are you kidding? He got rid of the evidence that fassss... I mean, thank you for this information and it was nice meeting you and haranguing you in your office."


Norman sits on the stairs, leaving the still-MIA Bradley a sweet voicemail that is, sadly, too awkward for me to even revisit. It's simply too real. Whatever you're imagining, it's easily four times as bad, because it's ol' Norman. Oh, honey. This kid, he just kills me.


Norma throws open the door, shining bright as the sun.

"They lost the evidence! It is over! They threw the whole thing out!"

Norman: "Nice to see you and all, but..."

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Bates Motel




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