Bates Motel
The Truth

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 8 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Dear Zachary

Norman: "Are you back to being out of your mind again? We gotta check your blood sugar."
Norma: "Actually, I have some late-breaking..."
Dylan: "Hold that thought, Norma. Now that you're safe, I have something to discuss with you. No, not really discuss, more like... Okay, since you're just sitting there like a ghost, I guess I should just inform you without prelude that I'm kidnapping your child."

You can actually watch as Norma feels herself burying the lede. Like, mentally there's a cracking sound in her mind and she just puts a pin in her last half-hour of life: We are going to circle back around to the other main thing going on, for sure, but this is now the priority.

Norma: "The fuck you say?"
Norman: "I mean, nothing is definite..."
Dylan: "Come on, man! We rehearsed this!"
Norma: "Well, that's not fucking happening and I will fucking pull out every stop right here and now, because as I mentioned, that is not happening. I will take all you motherfuckers down with me first. But I do want to mention, just as a side note, that Zach Shelby showed up and pretty much just raped me by accident, beat me up a little bit in a brutal rage, and is now currently chasing an Asian sex slave through the woods to murder her. So now back to this whole bungalow situation..."

Seriously, I am not joking around. That's actually how she plays it. And the Boys immediately point out that -- belt aside, which is a good start -- they all three need to get the fuck on out of there because Shelby is coming back and he has a gun and a headstart, so unless Jiao does something truly remarkable -- which honestly I don't know the girl that well but she is operating at some disadvantage tonight -- like some kind of Julie Of The Wolves/Home Alone-type shit, he is about to...

Oh, hey Shelby.

UP THE HILL

After a nervous few minutes of what would have been a standoff if Shelby weren't totally aware of Dylan's whole deal and his job and his Remo and Ethan and everything, and thus demands his piece first thing, he marches them up the hill so things can get really awkward and scary in the formal dining room. (Not related, but have you ever seen the remake or the original of Mother's Day? I love both so much, but there's an especial lot of awesome shit going on in the 2010 one: Rebecca De Mornay, Jaime King, Patrick Flueger, Deborah Ann Woll, Shawn Ashmore, Kandyse McClure. It's like, ideal.)

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Bates Motel

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