Norman: "Okay, Mata Hari, but your batting average is -- I'm just gonna say it -- low. How about you sneak me into his house while he's asleep?"
Norma: "Somehow that is the creepiest thing you've ever suggested. I can't even parse why, but it's very unhealthy for you to go there in your mind."
Norma: "Look. Occam's Razor and I apologize for not immediately believing you that my boyfriend was keeping a sex slave in his basement. I even went to go check, is how much I love you. And I guess you need to hear that I should have trusted you, even though that's blatantly false. Okay? Now let mommy get her face on."
Norman: "Distraction strategy two, deploy! Mommy, am I really crazy?"
Norma: "Stop being a drama queen. Sometimes people just say things, in the heat of the moment, to emotionally destroy each other -- and then it turns out they were just trying to get you to shut the fuck up."
Norman: "Because I'm starting to feel like maybe you are right and I am crazy."
Norma: "We can worry about that later -- meaning never -- but right now I need to focus on getting that belt."
Dylan, appearing: "You mean the one Norman hid under his bed after your brutal rape?"
Norma: "Oh, here we fuckin' go. This choad."
Norman: "Quick update, we have the sex slave downstairs, so I am not crazy."
Dylan: "Baby, you're still crazy. But that is a lot of new info."
Norman: "We found her on a boat."
Dylan: "Then that's where the belt is. Norma, you sit tight and please let your boys actually take care of you, like you spit blood out of your eyes about last week."
Oh, Dylan! Way to get it ten percent right for once in your...
Dylan: "And you can wipe that lipstick off."
...Well, you tried. First of all, I can already tell you that ten years from now I'll still be referring to Dylan Lastname as one of the all-time great characters of television. I just freakin' love him, I've never seen a character remotely like him. Maybe Matt Long's character on Jack & Bobby, that's the last time I loved a kid this much. All the MRA idiots in the world can't equal the social power of one fictional character who manages to get masculinity right. Or I guess if Street and Riggins had a baby it could conceivably turn out this way: Beautifully strong and damaged, hopeful and self-destructive, in exactly equal amounts.