Dylan: "Dude. Look me in the eye. Who do you think distracted him long enough for you to get out of there? I saved your ass. Tell me what's going on."
Norman: "I am certainly not in any trouble, or under the orders of apparitions. Good evening, sir."
Dylan: "Is it Mom? Are we keeping secrets from Mom? Tell me we're hiding something from Mom, that would honestly relieve me so much."
Norman: "Ugh. You will never get it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go ice my ankle. An imaginary heroin addict squoze the shit out of it, and then I walked all the way here."
Emma's Dad is like so mesmerizing. I've only ever not liked him once, and that was very little to do with him ... and in fact he was my favorite part even then, come to think of it. Beautiful man, aging beautifully.
John Lennon from Backbeat starring Stephen Dorff: "Little boy, why are you so skinny and in my yard?"
Norman Bates: "I am a friend of Emma's and I wanted to walk her to school, because I was a real bitch to her yesterday."
Don Konkey from Dirt, which did not feature Stephen Dorff: "Well, she has the flu. And what with her CF, we don't fuck around with that, so she's taking a week off."
Norman: "And then she'll be okay?"
Professor Quirinus Quirrell, Defense Against The Dark Arts: "Yeah sure, unless she dies. See how that works? Listen, you've got to be Norman Bates, nobody else could possibly be described in a way that would leave that up to confusion, so let me just say this. If you hurt my daughter, I will kill and then stuff and mount you. Are you a decent dude? Because spoiler alert, she's like in love with you."
Norman: "I am decent. And I did like it when she kissed me. And my mother practically purred when she found out about your daughter's terminal illness, meaning she would solve several problems of mine you don't need to worry about. And she is one of the most beautiful young women on TV in recent memory. But she needs to pull it together because the heart wants what it wants, sir, and my heart wants Bradley. (And sometimes, to kill.)"
I don't know if we know each other well enough at this point for me to share a very private Dawn Weiner thing with you, but whenever that Stephen Dorff e-cigarette commercial comes on, I stop what I'm doing and let it play, and hit mute, and Stephen Dorff says the most romantic things. I am speaking for him, true, but I have it down to a science because I have been doing this literally for a year, every time I see the commercial. Just walking on a beach, puffing on an electronic cigarette -- the most embarrassing form of electronics meets the most meaningless form of cigarettes -- and telling me that one day, one day soon, it's going to happen.