Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
What Kind Of Father

So Felix pisses and moans about how Bill just superceded the Quorum's decision -- adding a wonderfully snotty "sir" with a glance at Tigh -- and Bill's like, "Actually, yes. This is my call. I was trying to be nice, but in fact I am in charge of the entire universe. You cool with that?" Felix Gaeta, you do not have a leg to stand on.

Oh, yes I did. Recently-dumped Hoshi with his new hot hair catches an emergency hail from the Marines on the tylium refinery Hitei Kan. I was all relieved that it wasn't Daru Mozu, of course, because of Danny Noon, until I remembered that one was blown up awhile back, and now there's only one tylium refinery, and he was always on Hitei Kan anyway. Daru Mozu was the one DEMAND PEACE frakked with. I hope he's hiding under a bed somewhere. But to be honest, I'm more freaked out about me, because when did I become this person?

("Hitei Kan? Oh, shit. But wait, what about Daru Mozu?" WTF are you talking about, Jacob. "Um, there are two tylium ships in the Fleet? Daru Mozu from the episode 'Epiphanies' and Hitei Kan from 'Dirty Hands'? Are you even a fan of this program? Do you even own a television set? Best. Tylium Refinery. Ever.")

Anyway, the crew is throwing a big old mutiny, so the alarms go off and Helo runs over to his little workstation on the bridge, and Hoshi tells us that they've killed a Cylon and two Marines. Over... What, exactly? This is stupid. I understand throwing a fit and all that, but murdering people who want to give you faster machinery? This is the same tylium crew whose lives and futures unto the seventh generation, by the way, were secured by a Cylon, whose stupid wife was being held against a bulkhead at gunpoint. On the other hand, this is very clever because we're now dealing with one of a very small number of absolutely necessary ships in the entire Fleet, so the whole Fuck It thing won't even fly. Like most things, this show is smarter than me.

Adama sauls to "scramble" the mardet (Marine detachment, I'm told) alert team and assault Raptor; I presume Saul "scrambles" them. Meanwhile, the ship is spooling up and dropping out of formation, so Bill hoshis them, and Hoshi's like, "This is a priority signal from Galactica actual to the... Current commander of your ship?" Like he's not sure of the protocol when you are dealing with this level of violent moron. Athena is in the Raptor, with I think Racetrack and Skulls and two accompanying Vipers, coming closer, when Hoshi notices that -- instead of answering his very polite hail -- they're talking to Colonial One.

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Battlestar Galactica




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