Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
What Kind Of Father

Hotdog stares down at Nicky, all, "I don't know anything about being a father." Especially to such a gigantic, dumb baby! "It sucks. Except for the parts that don't." Galen breathes, and puts a chair down for Hotdog. "All right. First lesson in parenting: Sit. Your kid's in the hospital, you never leave him alone, no matter what. Someone's always here. You get first shift... Dad." Hotdog gets very shivery about all this, and Galen assures him he'll be back, once he (drinks a bunch more and) sobers up.

Adama throws down a file in Zarek's cell. Old Tom's not looking too mutilated, damn Sharon Agathon's kind heart.

"Sworn statements. Transcripts of wireless conversations. Shipping records. All kinds of documents, really. Compiled over the last year with one theme. The buying and the selling of the Vice President's office." Zarek calls this extortion, and Bill goes all kind of Condy about how no, it's "about law and order," but whatever. "I believe that you would walk happily to the gallows, or languish in a cell for the rest of your life, if you could do it as a martyr to your cause. But the idea of being publicly humiliated as a corrupt politician, with your hand in the till? Well, that would scare you. Somehow I don't think that the legend and the myth of Tom Zarek, the political prisoner and a man of conscience, can survive the airing of that much dirty laundry." So much words! Zarek asks if he honestly thinks the Fleet is going to sit still for "a long and politically motivated trial" while Bill's busy allying himself with the Cylons, and Bill's like, "Bitch, you are the one that lost our tylium ship. We're not going anywhere, so they won't really have a choice. Plus, look how much fun Baltar's trial was last year."

Oh, man. Can you imagine Romo Lampkin and Tom Zarek having a conversation? I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

The bluffs and double-bluffs and "I know that you know that I know that you know" of it all starts to get top-heavy about the time that Tom's gloating about how Bill's dumb for thinking he knows where the ship is, but of course Bill does actually know that, because they were wiretapping the ship at the time, so he cuts through the bullshit. Tom goes, "Why do you think I know?" And Bill goes, "Because I know that you do." The end, fool. Like, "We're not actually playing the 'I know that you know' game right now, I am looking you in the leathery slits you use as eyes and saying I actually know. I'm not playing any games." Except he totally is, because he doesn't even have this proof that Zarek's corrupt. I mean, we know he is, and Bill knows he is, and it's not even in a Gaius way where Lee could make you feel like a proudly sobbing American Boy Scout about it: Tom Zarek is gross. He is yucky. And Bill's got all the time in the world.

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Battlestar Galactica




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