Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
What Kind Of Father

Not to mention he's also totally got Zarek's number, and can afford to be like, whatever, and walk out with the fake files sitting on the floor. Bill Motherfrakkin' Adama, sometimes, man... And since he's got nothing left, Zarek throws out a few more bullshitty stupid platitudes that might seem meaningful only if you are hopped up on goofballs in 1967, but which don't impress your kids and shouldn't impress you now: "You know what the difference is between you and I, Admiral? You wear that uniform and I don't."

Yeah, maaan, you tell him! Fascists! Never trust anybody above the rank of Lieutenant, maaan. Don't tread on my right to foment sedition and outright mutiny, maaaaan. The collaborative work toward continued survival for two great races is, like, sooooo harmful to terrorists and other living things, maaaaan. You totally get it, Zarek maaan. I'm like really glad we met. You're like soooo tuned in and mellow. Down with oppression and the Maaaaan, maaaan. You know?

Ugh, so Zarek scribbles it down and -- just to be a prick, or should I say just to resist tyranny in any way possible -- throws it crumpled-up at Bill's feet. You know, like a politically-minded six year old might do. Adama picks it up, for the third time today, and tells Tom to enjoy his stay in Camp Brig -- but maybe to avoid the food. Outside, he hands Saul the location, and they make a creepy fucking Gitmo joke about how Bill "appealed to his intellect," which Saul assumes means "beat the shit out of him without trial," and laughs. Yikes. Give me somebody to care about right now, show. Saul tells Bill to get some rest because he looks like hell, and because -- note the syntax -- he's "earned it." Bill leaves him with the files, which he says Hoshi should file because in fact they were not all the evidence he was talking about, but laundry lists. Of course, to Saul Tigh this is like a hug. Why is everything so sinister and icky? Why can't one person stick to their guns like once?

Athena hails the ship in its new location, and she's like, "This is Athena. Stand by to be boarded. Any resistance will be met with force. This is your only warning." Quoth the Hitei Kan: "Um, understood." As much as I love having Athena lay down any smack at any time, and especially with these fucktards, there's something unsettlingly New Caprica about it, like: "These Cylons are here to help you! Let them help you! Stop resisting! Why won't you let these Cylons help you? I'm going to tie you up so the Cylons can help you better. I just killed your kid, now will you let the Cylons help you? They're so helpful. Stop crying!"

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Battlestar Galactica




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