Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
What Kind Of Father

Galen announces that it's been decided on the rebel Baseship that they'd rather take their chances with the Fleet than risk running into Cavil's forces alone, just like Adama figured during his big rousing speech last week. Tigh laughs at Galen for throwing "we" all around the place when he's the least likely Cylon of the twelve, and Galen's like, "Um, yes we, as in you are also part of this we, no matter who else you are in addition to that." Bill's like, "Ladies, please. Less of this, more technobabble." Galen obliges; basically it comes down to replacing all the FTL drives with Cylon technology, which has always been better at things like math and science, because they are robots. Lee worries about selling this concept to the Quorum -- "Frak the Quorum," Tigh says, which honestly he would say no matter what the context, because he hates them and because he says it about once an episode -- and Lee's like, "Well, we could storm them one by one and upgrade them at gunpoint. That sounds fun too." Actually, Leland, that sounds like Microsoft.

So what'll it take to get the Quorum to sign off? First, Lee wonders whether they can do the upgrades with Galactica personnel only. Galen rankles at this, but I don't see why, because he's not being specific: It's one thing to accept Cylon technology. It's quite another to have actual Cylons aboard their ships." Except first of all, half of Galactica personnel is Cylon, dude, and second of all, as Galen points out, if humans were smart enough to build this technology, they already would have. "We are gonna need teams of Sharons and Sixes, possibly Leobens, just to do the installations." Felix is grossed out, but I don't have time for that, because I know that there's a lesbians/lightbulbs-type joke in there somewhere. I just know it.*

Helo's cute haircut is like, "We just gotta be more awesome, then! Sell them on the benefits! Accentuate the positive!" Which are that the upgrades, according to Athena, would triple the Fleet's jump capacity. Way to bury the lead, guys. Galen says even this is conservative: "Their technology -- our technology -- is way ahead of ours. [Thinky face] ...Yours." Tigh jokes that Galen needs a chart to keep it all straight. (I wish those What The Frak people would make another version at the end of the season, just to have that line in there. Ordinarily I would say that line should go in an advertisement, but the ads for this show are even more depressing and portentous than the recaps, so I don't think that's likely. Mostly I like the line because it distracts you from the fact that Galen Tyrol has officially become Sharon Valerii with that line, so now they can finally be together. And they can live next door to Karl and Athena and trade recipes and magic baby highjinks, just like in the sequels of The Parent Trap.) Lee says yes, thanks for burying the lead, but tripling FTL capacity is indeed a good selling point when what you're selling is FTL upgrades.

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Battlestar Galactica




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