Caprica. I like the Caprica bits for several reasons, but one is that the captions are so helpful. It's Helo's fourteenth day on the planet. And it's raining. That isn't in the captions; I figured it out all by myself when I noticed all the water falling from the sky. Boomer peers through the dark windows of an abandoned restaurant and announces, "This is it." They enter, and we learn that they're following the signal they detected two episodes ago. They poke around in the restaurant, their guns drawn. Boomer starts looking through cupboards, which...okay, I guess they're looking for the transmitter, not a person, but it still seems a bit odd. Boomer grumps that, according to her receiver, "We're right on top of it." The beeps get more urgent, and she sweeps some books off a shelf to reveal a doorknob behind them. She tips over the bookcase, and she and Helo open the door and discover a stairwell.
Helo and Boomer head downstairs and find the door to a fallout shelter. Inside are shelves lined with food, water, and other supplies. They immediately start scrambling for food, then Helo asks, "What about the signal?" They poke around briefly and find the transmitter on a shelf, hooked up to several shelves of batteries. Boomer says, "Disaster beacon. It was set to go off if there was an attack." Helo wonders what happened to whoever set the place up. Boomer says, "Let's just call ourselves lucky and leave it at that." They tuck in to the rations. So, did Helo ever ask Boomer where her ship is? The one that she supposedly flew back in to rescue him? I know they've been busy, but I'd have inquired about that by now.
Upstairs, Six walks past the restaurant, trailing her hand over the window. It's still pouring outside. If they still need a Cylon detector, I think maybe they should try dumping buckets of water over people; if their hair looks impeccable afterward, they're Cylons.
The Prez is sitting on an exam bed in a hospital gown. Dr. Donnelly Rhodes sweeps in, and the Prez asks him to close the curtain. The doctor says, "You are obviously an intelligent, well-educated young woman. Would you mind explaining to me why you waited five years between breast exams?" Oh good, more guilt for everyone! The Prez sniffs that she would mind, actually, and then adds that she was busy. The doctor lights up a cigarette, which shocks me more than Starbuck's cigar did, for some reason. I guess cigars have always been pretty rare on TV, whereas cigarettes used to be common and now only the evil get to smoke. The Prez gasps, "Would you mind?" about the cigarette, and the doctor mimics her and says, "I do, actually." He's kind of a jerk. I like him. The doctor says that it's too late for surgery, and outlines a program of "gamma treatments" and medication. He asks if she knows about the side effects, and the Prez quickly says, "Hair loss, nausea, muscle degeneration. I watched my mother endure two years of Doloxan before she died." The Prez adds that she wants to try alternative treatment. The doctor asks, "Prayer?" The Prez drily says, "Witty," then asks if the doctor has heard of Chamalla extract. The doctor sighs, "Oh, Gods. You're one of those." I really like him a lot. I want him to hang out with Tigh. He says there's only anecdotal evidence that Chamalla extract does anything. The Prez stares at him, and he finally agrees to see if there's "some other wide-eyed dreamer out there with a secret horde of Chamalla extract in their luggage." He tells her to get dressed, and as he exits he stops to add, "For what it's worth, I would seriously consider prayer." Yeah, if it was me, I'd smack him, but he's keeping me entertained here.