Up on the bridge, Ensign Uhura hands Commodore 64 one of those omnipresent octagonal report forms that says that all the ships in the fleet have been experiencing strange malfunctions just prior to Cylon attacks. She thinks it looks suspicious. He's still locked in an if-then statement.
Sergeant Sacrificial Stan, however, has chopped the number of incoming Cylons down from five to two. The Vipers move en masse in to take them out, because it's perfectly sound military strategy to send an entire squadron after two lone stragglers when you're still two hours away from a planet that's being mercilessly bombarded with nuclear weapons. They chatter amongst themselves about how the old Cylon fighters looked like flying wings, but Wedge comes on the radio to order them all to shut up. Eventually the Cylons do appear, coming out of the sun, and the new ships looks like an unholy alliance between the Bat-plane and a Klingon Bird of Prey. The Cylon fighters open a slot on their front side, and the red light pulses across the entire opening. Heh. Plus, the light actually serves a practical purpose now, because it somehow shuts down all the Vipers and leaves them drifting in space. As a nod towards physical accuracy, all of the sound effects in outer space are muted, because there is no sound in space. That attention to detail, however, obviously doesn't extend to the laws of inertia, because even though the Vipers were in perfect formation when they shut down, they still somehow manage to end up drifting into each other like they're caught in a giant game of pachinko. Flight Leader Antilles calls out to Biggs and Gold Leader, but no one is answering because their radios have been shut down as well. Despite the fact that the Cylon fighters are still hundreds of miles away, and the fact that they do indeed appear to have some form of a cockpit, Biggs is able to ascertain that no one is actually flying them, solely because the writers thought it would be cool if the fighters themselves were giant robots, but didn't have a good way to work that little detail into the script. In any event, the Cylons launch a bunch of missiles and blow everyone up. Boomer panics again and tries to fly away, and the Cylons chase her right into a commercial.
When we come back, Mary McDonnell is again in the bathroom on the SS Hindenbreast. There's no time for a quick grope, however, because she has to head back to the main cabin in order to hear the Captain make an announcement about the attack on Caprica. Up in the cockpit, the Captain shuts off the intercom, and switches over to the radio so he can thank Apollo for giving them an escort. Apollo rags on Daddy's old fighter, but does promise to do whatever he can.