Battlestar Galactica
Battlestar Galactica, Part I

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 11 USERS: A
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Disco Inferno

Briefing Room. Some random officer goes over the plans for a flyby that's scheduled to occur during the decommissioning ceremony. He also officially welcomes Apollo to the Galactica, and everyone applauds because they love Edward James Olmos and they're happy that he's had sex at least once in his life. Apollo is also told that he'll be flying Daddy's old Viper for the ceremony, and he doesn't look very happy about it. Everyone boos because they love Edward James Olmos, and anyone who doesn't show him the proper respect is obviously a pinko Commie Cylon spy. I'm only exaggerating that last part a little.

Down on Ear…er, Caprica, Baltar and Number Six are walking around town. I'll give you three guesses which building is in the background, and the first two only count if you've never watched television before. Now anyone who watched the original already knows that Baltar is a bad guy, but just in case there are any newcomers among us, I'll point out that he's incredibly smug, wearing all black, couldn't be Eurotrashier if he tried, and is fucking a child-killer. Hopefully, that'll clear things up for you. Oh, and he's also smoking a cigarette. Flick…ahh. I guess that building's management wouldn't let them put up the big neon "EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL" sign that's really the only thing missing from this scene.

Anyway, it's time for blah blah backstory: Baltar let Number Six have full access to the Colonial defense mainframe while he worked on a navigation program for the fleet. That'll be important later. Then the topic of discussion suddenly switches to religion for some reason, and Number Six gets all defensive when Baltar mocks her faith in God. Yes, that's right. Just in case the smugness, the black clothes, the Eurotrashiness, the baby-killer-fucking, and the cigarette weren't enough to set off the warning bells, Baltar also believes that God is a bunch of "superstitious mumbo-jumbo." Plus he totally stares at her tits the whole time he's saying this. Heh. He also announces that he's graciously willing to overlook her faith in God because she does have "other attributes." Which are currently pointed right at his nose, by the way. The conversation breaks up when they both claim to have meetings to attend, and Baltar walks off to purchase a peg-leg and a disfiguring facial scar to complete his look. Number Six, meanwhile, looks up to the heavens with a sigh of exasperation. "It's about time," she says, to either God or the Cylon battle fleet. "I wondered when you'd get here."

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Battlestar Galactica

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