MONDO EXTRAS

6. Corporal Dirty Girl finally fixes that pesky gimbal on Starbuck's Viper. Then Master Chief Lovewrench introduces her to the new Private First Class Ben Hawkins, and love blooms at first smudge. Aww.

7. And finally, Adama returns to his own quarters, where he finds a typewritten octagonal note which simply reads, "There are only twelve Cylon models." It's not signed, so I guess that's our first major plot thread for the series.

Our final scene of the miniseries takes place back at the Ragnar Anchorage, where Poor Man's Kevin Spacey now looks significantly the worse for wear. Suddenly the station's massive doors swing open, and an entire gang of Cylons enters. There are three copies of Number Six, three copies of Sweaty Guy, and even another copy of PMKS himself. Just in case you were wondering, the new Poor Man's Kevin Spacey is wearing a light blue suit. That probably means something. The new kids wants to know where the humans went, but the original PMKS doesn't know. "We have to find them," says the new PMKS. "We have no choice," adds Sweaty Guy #3. "It may take several decades to track them down. Or a hundred episodes. Whichever comes first." And then the camera pans over to the doors, and -- wait for it -- Boomer walks through! Dun dun DUH! "Don't worry," announces the Cylon Boomer with a smile. "We'll find them." And then the camera slowly pulls back, and Number Six says those three little words I've been waiting four hours to hear. No, not "Get out. Now." "By your command." I love that line. Fade to black.

The Eighth Law of Science Fiction: It was Boomer all along! (See: Planet of the Apes, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Sixth Sense, Brazil.)

So that's it, kids. All in all, I'd give it a nice, solid B. And as far as comparisons to the original are concerned, well, my best advice would just be to not make any at all. In truth, there were only three things I wanted to see from the original: Vipers in the launch tube, pulsing red eyes, and "By your command." I got all three, so I'm a happy camper on that score. If this does go to series, however, I'd much rather they spent their time dealing with the fleet and the humans, instead of the Cylons and their wacky humanoid schemes. The original is remembered fondly for a reason, and let's just hope Ron Moore doesn't forget that. And now with that said, I bid you all a fond farewell. Somebody wake me up when they remake Buck Rogers. That purple spandex jumpsuit changed my life.