The Day After
Now that he's an official Presidential advisor, Baltar gets to kick back and relax in first class. He starts hallucinating Six again, however, only this time he actually manages to talk back. He psychobabbles that she's merely an "expression of [his] subconscious playing itself out during [his] waking hours." She then technobabbles that she put a chip in his head, which is why he can hear her. Then we get a close-up of her tits while they metaphorically switch places. He technobabbles that she put some kind of back door into his Fleet navigation programs, and she psychobabbles about ulterior motives and how they had "something special" together. Once again, she just wants to be loved. "Don't you understand?" she asks. "God is love." Um, no. I don't understand. But that's okay, because we quickly get the requisite scene where Baltar jerks awake and realizes it was all just a dream. And I know I ragged on Nick Stahl over in the Carnivale recaps a lot, but if there's one thing Dirt Boy is really good at, it's the wake-up scene. Probably because he had to do it at least three times an episode.
Yeah. Okay. This next one is officially the dumbest scene in the entire miniseries. In fact, it's quite possibly the dumbest scene I've ever watched outside of an episode of Tru Calling. Adama has come down to the loading bay to show off the extra paunch in his uniform and check out some random hatchways, because the newly minted commander of the entire Colonial Fleet wouldn't have anything better to do right now. And just in case that's not dumb enough, he's also got Sweaty Guy with him. Because that's what you do with crazy guys who point guns at your crew. You take them straight to the captain, and then let them walk around together unescorted. Master Chief Lovewrench, meanwhile, is supervising the ammunition loading procedures, and has to repeatedly warn some guy with a forklift to slow down and take it easy. After three warnings, the guy is still screwing around, however, so I have to wonder what happened to that crack staff Lovewrench kept bragging about in Part One. I also have to wonder what would motivate a guy carrying a large quantity of unsecured, high-explosive warheads on a pallet to try to play bumper cars with his forklift. Whatever. This is all just an excuse to get Adama and Sweaty Guy some alone time, so they can have a dramatic conversation about the meaning of life, followed by a fist-fight and some conciliatory gimbal stroking. And then just like that, the fork-lift capsizes, a warhead rolls across the deck, and the ensuing explosion tosses Adama and Sweaty Guy through an open hatch and straight into a commercial.