Battlestar Galactica
Battlestar Galactica, Part II

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | 7 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Day After

In the back of Boomer's ship, Baltar is still having visions of Number Six. Only this time, she's actually talking to him. Six: "You know what I like about you?" Baltar: "I really know how to dance?" (Not really.) Six: "You're a survivor." Baltar: "Oh, for the last goddamn time, Richard Hatch had nothing to do with this miniseries! Go sign his friggin' petition if you care about him so damn much." Oh, he does not. Instead he just acts confused and mutters to himself. Yeah. That'll inspire confidence in his fellow passengers.

Galactica. All systems are go for the FTL jump. "Take us to Ragnar, Colonel [McCain]," orders Adama. And he does. In a really long montage that features lots of key turning and dramatic countdowns and several slow pans around the bridge. When the countdown reaches "three," we cut down to the hangar deck, where Corporal Dirty Girl braces herself against a Viper and whispers, "I hate this part." Aww. Poor Corporal Dirty Girl. First her secret crush gets fried to a blackened crisp by the evil, drunken XO, and now she and her rosy yet still grease-streaked cheeks are forced to sit there and let the special effects guys twist her inside out as the ship enters hyperspace.

The jump effect itself sucks on the way out (it looks like the Galactica is getting swallowed by a Photoshop lens flare), but is actually kind of cool on the other side, when Rear Admiral Steadi Cam zooms in to catch Galactica streaking across the front of a giant nebula. Commodore 64 announces to the entire bridge that they hit their target perfectly, and there was much rejoicing. So much so, in fact, that you'd think The Olmos had personally picked up the ship and single-handedly carried it on his shoulders across at least a half-dozen light years. Adama orders McCain to take them down to the Anchorage and start loading ammunition.

Colonial One. Everyone is unconscious, including the pilots. They slowly wake up, and the pilots go about their business of restarting all the computers without even wondering what knocked them out or where the approaching Cylon fighter might be. I guess someone must have told them that guy got left back in Part One. President Mary wakes up as well, and immediately runs down to the cargo hold, because that's what any sensible person who just got rendered unconscious by a mysterious force would do. She finds Apollo down there, struggling to his feet and stammering through some ludicrous and scientifically invalid exposition about electromagnetic pulses and how he stopped the Cylon attack. Whatever. All you need to know is that he patched the deflector shields straight into the warp core and then fired a special Cylon-seeking photon torpedo. He also explains that they used to try that electromagnetic pulse trick all the time in the war games he played in flight school, but the Kobyash…er, Cylons, always saw right through it. "The lesson here is not to ask follow-up questions," announces Mary, apropos of nothing in the actual scene but still a Ron Moore-penned swipe against Trekkies everywhere. Heh. She also thanks him for saving their "collective asses." I don't know why, but it totally makes me giggle every time I hear Mary McDonnell say the word "ass."

Galactica. We're on the bridge as Colonel McCain navigates his way down through a narrow gap in the oh-so-convenient Cylon-killing space storm that surrounds the Ragnar Anchorage. Have you seen The Hunt for Red October? If you have, then you've already seen this scene. Starbuck, meanwhile, is down in her quarters, moping and checking out a picture of her and Zak that's hanging from the mirror. She takes it down, and unfolds it to reveal that Apollo is also in the picture, standing off to one side while Starbuck and Zak are hugging on the other. Remember that image when her and Apollo do some very creepy flirting later on. Over in the hangar bay, Private Saving Ryan -- whom we've never seen before and never will again -- is collecting dog tags from all the dead bodies. In an amazing shocker (and potential shout-out), the futuristic dog tags turn out to be hexagons instead of octagons! Wow. I bet the prop designer got fired for that one. Adama just can't get enough of that loudspeaker of his, because he gets on the horn to warn the crew about imminent turbulence. "All hands, be ready for some chop," he announces. "Also, please discontinue the use of portable electronic equipment, and be sure to stow your seat-backs and tray tables in their full upright and locked positions."

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Battlestar Galactica

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