Battlestar Galactica
Colonial Day

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Let Baltar Be Baltar

Briefcase Guy walks up to a security checkpoint and puts his briefcase through the x-ray. We finally see his face for a second, for whatever that's worth. He passes through without a problem.

We pan down to a plaza, where crowds are converging as the Colonial Gang returns. Playa describes the atmosphere as "electric," which I'm going to assume is a little joke by the writers, because these people don't look electrified. Oh, unless they're all Cylons, which would make it a different kind of joke. Playa expositions that there's a reception for the new Quorum taking place outside the ship's ballroom. Playa adds, "The question on everyone's mind is, will President Roslin actually shake the hand of the man many still regard as a terrorist, or will she snub him and by extension, all people of Sagittaron?" Briefcase Guy strolls past as Playa goes on about that.

Cut to the reception line. Tigh and his wife are among the greeters, and they shake hands and introduce themselves to some random folk. Tigh mutters, "Kill me now," to Ellen during a pause between handshakes. Aw, Tigh. Briefcase Guy walks up to yet another mysterious man: a chunky dude with a goatee. Hey, facial hair! I kept vaguely wishing for some goatees, but I figured they were being conservative intentionally since nothing dates a sci-fi show faster than the hairstyles. Although that makes the Prez's feathered hair seem even more peculiar. But I guess if you have Mary McDonnell, you let her do whatever she wants with her hair. Briefcase Guy shakes Goatee Guy's hand. I hope that in addition to the gun, there are some name tags in that briefcase, because I could really use some help here.

Cut to Apollo, who's gone all Secret Service with an earphone. He talks into his jacket cuff and tells Starbuck that Zarek has arrived. Zarek hurries down the stairs as Starbuck and Apollo trade, "I've got him," "No, I've got him" banter. Zarek passes another goateed man (this one's blond) on the stairs, who calls, "Murderer!" Zarek ignores it as the guy continues shouting: "You don't belong here, Zarek!" Then he's grabbed by the original Goatee Guy, who snarls, "He's not a murderer, he's a freedom fighter, all right?" Apollo pulls Goatee Guy around and asks for his security pass. Goatee Guy pulls out his pass and sniffs that he's a Sagittaron citizen and he's got a right to be there. Apollo retorts, "Your rights don't extend to roughing people up." He threatens to throw Goatee Guy in the brig if he gets out of line, and snottily tells him to enjoy his stay. Then they do some Ben Stiller-style riffs as Goatee Guy says, "Oh, I will," and Apollo says, "Good, because I want you to," and Goatee Guy says, "I appreciate your heartfelt wishes for my well-being." And then they beat each other up. Except we cut away before most of that happens.

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Battlestar Galactica

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