Battlestar Galactica
Crossroads, Part II

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Breakaway Song
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously, The Thirteenth Colony of Hanselgretalon left a buttload of beacons, Temples, signposts, diseases and other crap scattered across the universe in order to point the Fleet and Cylon Hordes to Earth. The last one led, via a torturous logic path that only Gaeta and Chief could possibly understand, to the Ionian Nebula, which, as they neared it, began to fuck up everybody that is cool. Since nobody named Adama is being cool right now, they didn't notice, and Roslin was too busy -- getting more cancer, more drug visions, and the cold incompetent shoulder from Bill -- to notice, but Saul and Sam and Tory were losing their marbles all over the spaceship. And in space, you know, that means they roll around. Adama was like, "Still no sign of the Cylon," which of course summoned a huge Fleet of basestars to Racetrack's location, but she jumped away in time to freak out the Fleet, but then for some reason the Cylons weren't a problem again, for like five whole minutes. Also of note: I finally recognize her without prompting.

With everybody else going shit-crazy, Gaius started feeling like his territory was being impinged upon, so he went even crazier. That'll show 'em! It even spread to some other people, like a cute and very intense lady with a son and the belief that Gaius is magic and can heal people with a touch -- rather than his huge wobbly brain, which is how he normally heals people. Huge wobbly brain and bad priorities, I should say, which is why he and Chip Six didn't auto-ignore the crazy cult lady at first sight. Speaking of Gaius Baltar, he's on trial for something or other having to do with the Fleet continually getting whittled down and whittled down for occurrences tangential to his poor decision-making skills. Sentence first, verdict afterwards: that's the wonderland of Colonial Justice.

After bitching out hardcore in front of the entire Fleet, nobody was feeling Lee at all, particularly his dad and his wife, both of whom kind of let him go pretty hardcore. Lee responded, of course, by resigning from the military, from being an Adama, from being a pilot, and pretty much anything not having to do with being Romo Lampkin's creepy judicial prag. His dad told him he had no integrity, which was right by being wrong -- if all you are is integrity, then what you are is selfish -- and his wife told him that the entire system was bullshit anyway, because Alice doesn't live here anymore, which not even Laura's figured out yet. Lee finally got tired of punching his dad in the gut over and over, and went after mommy Roslin instead, because he is a little shit, because Kara's dead, because he has no idea who or what he actually is or wants to be. Just like the Cylons; just like everybody else. The road you take doesn't matter, if you don't know where you want to go: any road will take you there. He's still learning about words, so he doesn't understand that -- for the people at large, by asking the question and getting the answer -- he in effect just gave the President of Humanity (not to mention his father's one-day lover) cancer again. Which is to say, he just gave the Fleet cancer. With his words.

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Battlestar Galactica

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