Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Girl Who Fell To Earth

Martha: I swear to God George, if you even existed I'd divorce you.

"Do you see, little girl? There is something in the universe that he loves far more than you or me." She steps forward, scary and ugly: "And that's Bill Adama." Saul speaks over her, pointing out that she doesn't want to desert the Fleet either, that she's acting only out of spite and to hurt him for betraying her so dreadfully. (I would say it's worse than that, because really she's doing it because he lied about it, and made her feel stupid. Stupid, blindsided, in front of the children.) "...It's Bill Adama, and the ship, and the uniform..." He asks her how she can sink so low, but he knows; he asks her why she's doing this, but he knows. "...And everything else takes second place. I knew I did, but I always wondered if a baby would. Guess I know now."

Next they tried word magic. Caprica drops to her knees, sick. Ellen is horrified; her entire body arcs toward her daughter like a river, like an ocean, as Saul screams for Cottle, and she realizes she's never fucked up quite this badly before. This badly or this well. Malice comes after you fall to Earth, and not before.

Martha: Truth or illusion, George; you don't know the difference.
George: No, but we must carry on as though we did.

So say we all.

Cottle marvels at the suddenly terrible state of healthy old Caprica, who hasn't seen an episode yet that she didn't get the shit kicked out of her, body or heart or soul. Often all three. "But he's fighting back. That's all I can tell you." Ellen swears she didn't mean to cause this, but Caprica knows better. ("Our minds were designed based on your minds," she told him once. "We learned things about how you work that you've never known.") I love how even in the midst of a race-ending miscarriage in progress Caprica still has time to gently and politely call Ellen a bitch: "Yeah. You did."

Cottle works and Ellen swears she didn't mean it, but Saul knows better too: "You knew how I would have to choose. You knew what it meant." (Of course, what we're missing here is that so did Bill, which is why they were drinking together, because on a light day Bill Adama is twice as manipulative as all these blondes would be working in concert, but we'll let that slide for now. I could go the next four episodes without ever seeing Bill Adama called to the carpet for a single goddamn thing, because I love him.) Ellen basically shrugs, but it's like this intensely apologetic shrug her words belie: "Of course, Cylons and humans need to stay together. But I always intended... I just, I didn't think." And then she gives possibly the greatest apology of all time, because boy howdy if you could just say this every time you were thinking it, there would be no war and everything would be free and we would all be living in the DMZ of No Bitchery Eutopia: "I only wanted to hurt you! Not her." Which I love in every way, because not only did Ellen just explain the plot of literally every Gossip Girl episode, but also just titled my autobiography, both without even trying.

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Battlestar Galactica

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