Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 1 USERS: B+
Can't Stop The Signal

Back from commercial, Boomer's pretty out of it, being wheeled on a gurney towards sickbay, surrounded with Marines. Adama looks down at her as they walk. Helo steps out of a doorway, hand hovering hear his gun. "Admiral, please don't do this." Of course, there are immediately about a billion guns trained on him, but he was dumb for doing this armed in the first place. Adama tells everyone to stand down, and then walks toward Helo, pushing through the Marines. They stare each other down. "Think about what you're doing Helo. You're a soldier." Helo shakes his head. "I'm a father, like you." He loses the whole hardcore edge almost instantly, and ends up pretty much begging. "Please, sir, give me a Raptor… Let me take her off the ship. I'll get her away from the Fleet." But of course Adama can't do that. He calls Helo "son." The unanswerable moral questions here are a lot easier to read than usual, but a lot harder to answer than usual too.

Gaius runs up just then, like it couldn't get any worse, and without looking away from Helo's face, Adama tells him to fuck off. That's pretty funny, dude. Once Gaius explains that he's come to talk about the Cybrid, though, he's got Adama's attention. "It seems I may have been wrong. Very wrong. When I said that Dr. Cottle misinterpreted the fetal blood work…" Adama and Helo are still looking at each other, silent and still and very much on the edge of several things at once, and Gaius joins in the three-way eyeballs for a second before continuing. "… I had another look at those samples, and I discovered something quite intriguing. Understand, Cylon blood is virtually impossible to differentiate from our own…" Then there are a million painstaking, distracting, environment-ruining minutes of pointless explanation about how human blood is this one way (he draws a hexagon, and not an octagon like I originally typed, even though that would be funnier), and Cylon blood is this other way (seemingly identical hexagon), and so probably the Cybrid baby would be carrying (hexagon) blood, but if you go to Cottle's "damned odd" blood tests, you see that it's magic hexagons, because it contains "no antigens" and has "no blood type."

Adama glares, but at least he has the class to not turn directly toward the screen and say, "Jacob. This is what all that magic bullshit bracelet only-in-the-cancer talk will get you." But screw it, I'm following through on my end of the deal, which is why we'll only now rejoin the hyperactive explanation already in progress. "…Knowing, as we do, that the Cylons are built slightly better to endure, than their human counterparts, I wonder: could the Cylon blood also be blessed, shall we say 'blessed,' with a heightened resistance to disease?" Why not? This part's fine, because they are robots. You're allowed to be genetically or otherwise perfect if you're robots.

Here's how that scene could have gone: "You know how the Cylons are robots?"

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Battlestar Galactica




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