Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 2 USERS: B+
Can't Stop The Signal

So then Baltar runs over and grabs these pictures of Petri dishes, and some of them are red, which means cancer, and some of them are clear, which means no cancer. Gaius tells us how, between last scene and this one, he took some of Sharon's fetal blood, and applied it to some Laura blood, and Adama picks up a picture of a Petri dish with nothing in it, and asks what he's looking at, and the answer is nothing whatsoever, because it solved the whole problem in a number of hours. Because Cylons are robots.

"Are you saying you found a cure for the President's cancer?" Even Baltar's like, "Does it even matter at this point? She's totally about to die." He glares, and Gaius gets cool: "If you abort Sharon's fetus now, you'll never know." I wonder if he did this whole dog and pony with the glossy pictures of empty Petri dishes and the last-second you'll never know thing to prove he's cool to Adama? That's very Gaius, to try some kind of sweeping gesture of scientific awesomeness just because the Admiral called him a pussy. The thing is, emotionally, the whole thing tracks, and sometimes you ignore the details because the emotion tracks, or else you drive yourself crazy. I'm not bringing up Season 7 of Buffy, because Sars is editing this week, but there is a certain bliss attached to not giving a damn about story logic, as long as the emotion tracks. ["Agreed, on all counts." -- Sars] Which it does, here, way better than Buffy anyhow. Fuck story logic, I need Laura Roslin, as the saying goes. Not to mention that there are plenty of shows where this crap happens every week, instead of once ever, and those shows are crappy, and not even the one-two punch of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles is going to get me there, at least not a fourth time, so you have to understand that any complaints here are coming to you in a Tiffany-blue box with a lovely silver ribbon. Plus the fact that Ron Moore laughs his ass off about the mangled logic this week in the podcast, which sweetens the deal somewhat anyway.

So now it's just plot moving forward: Gaius pokes Boomer's stomach to draw some fetal blood, and it takes a whole porno's worth of time, because needles are your kryptonite and mine, and Helo's comforting Sharon, who's tied to the table, and then Cottle follows Gaius around the lab as the Official Voice Of Concerned People Against Stem-Cell Research and tells Gaius that he's doing something "unnatural and damned dangerous," and I love this thing where Cottle says everything plus "damned," and Gaius once more points out that her ass is dead either way, and we get a small shot of Laura looking hellish, and Cottle complains that maybe it's just her time, and Gaius says that "for once," then, maybe that makes him "the beacon of hope around here," and Cottle makes this face like, "I'm a doctor, too, and I know from God complexes, but dude," and then Helo's comforting Sharon some more and everything's moving very quickly.

Flash back to Roslin's meeting with Stans. "If you want to settle this, your people have to disengage. No more civil disobedience, no more acts of violence. I want our students back in school." They stare at each other, and Stans gives in. She gives that amazing smile of hers, like the sun breaking through, and they just look at each other respectfully for a second. "I'm glad you called, Madame Secretary." She nods and agrees, then sees Six and Baltar again. Back in sickbay, she starts seizing. Cottle jumps to attention as Gaius bumbles about, and Laura flatlines. For a second. Then she comes back to life.

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Battlestar Galactica




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