Battlestar Galactica
Exodus, Part I

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Nature Girl

Anders is like, "Frack this, my finely honed guerilla instincts are telling me that people are shooting at us," but Sharon has the same thought that Chief had -- "trust me" -- and she waits for the Marines on the ridge... who take out the Cylons. Anders is like, "Thanks."

On Pergamus Flats, Chief comforts a wet and distraught Cally.

While Sharon's Marine chick is like, "They were waiting for us, LT. Right where we thought they would be ONE HOUR BEFORE THE CLIFFHANGER," an insurgent comes running up to Anders to tattle on Ellen about how she stole the map and gave it to Cavil: "Found it on a dead skinjob. It's your handwriting, isn't it?" Anders clenches his fist, and all his other parts too.

Roslin grins in the dirt: "You all right, Tom?" Zarek says, "Been a while since I had a woman throw me to the ground. Not quite as much fun as I remember." Tom stares into the distance and thinks longingly of Maier: "There was a man who could throw you to the ground and you'd damn well know you'd been thrown."

Seelix crouches over an injured Cavil, kicking a gun away from him: "Hurts, huh? Good. Then I hope it hurts a long, long time till you go to download city." She kicks the gun even further away so he can't kill himself and reload, and then stomps off looking for some more enemies to treat with zero honor and no respect, because that's just how the noncoms roll on this show now, apparently. Why do people so easily confuse war with cruelty? It's guns in the Temple again. You give up willingly what you thought you were fighting for.

Chief calls down to the Roslin/Zarek tangle, and oh, how sweetly is Roslin grateful to see him? "Good to see you too, ma'am," he says respectfully. Cally utters the same stupid kind of line she always says, humped up against him like a Leia to her triumphant Luke ("What happens now? Where do we go from here?" she actually says out loud) and he answers: "We're going home." But not like that! He calls down to Roslin and Zarek: "We're going home, Admiral Adama's on his way. We're getting off this rock. We're going back to Galactica." Everybody's like, "Finally! But also: four episodes in? After all the buildup?"

Three massages her neck, standing in New Caprica City. Lights and colors and sounds are strange. Cylons dream of electric neon. She sees some Colonial fetishes near a tent, ropes and sticks and big stones, and hears a baby crying. She sees herself carrying a child, and wakes up to it screaming, sweating in her bed on Colonial One. I knew she'd go crazy but I didn't think it would take five seconds.

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Battlestar Galactica




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