Helo's talking to Boomer through her cell phone. (See what I did there?) He starts with some light-hearted material: "Do you have actual memories of being with the Chief before the Cylon attack?" That's pretty much completely below the belt, although I understand his need to clarify this stuff. On the other hand, her reaction to Chief back on Caprica pretty much answered every fracking question he might have, but whatever. Boomer: "Yeah." Helo makes that face he makes. Boomer's like, "Sorry, dude. On the other hand, you asked." Helo's not done: "Do you still love him?" Which is three questions. The first one is, "How does this whole Cylon thing actually work?" and it's valid. The second one is, "Is it weird having your ex-boyfriend in the same apartment complex?" and it's valid too. But the third question is bullshit, because it basically resolves down to: "You mean you weren't a virgin when we started dating?" I'd be like, "Look, Dawson, get your jealous ass out of here until you have some kind of insecurity net or I'm going to make you wish you'd never made it off Caprica. Your drama is nothing but rage to me, because you're now questioning my commitment to you, and my love for you, and that makes me feel like I'm not doing a good job of showing how much I love you. Which is your whole point here, because you're being a manipulative, vapid child. Trust me or don't, but don't act like I even have the option of vamping into the hangar bay in a raincoat with nothing underneath. Not to mention the fact that I've seen Tyrol, like, twice since they came to get us, and neither time was all that conducive to romance. This is about you and him and has nothing to do with me, and I know the whole 'there are many copies' thing is blowing your mind, but I love you, and that's all I got. I know it's hard being one of the two toasterfuckers on board -- not secretly counting Gaius -- but I get out of here? It's on a fracking leash. A literal leash, okay? Keep some perspective." But Boomer's a better robot girlfriend than I could ever be. Um, if I were a girl. And a robotic assassin. She tells him, "Helo. You're the father of my child. You're the first in my heart. And nothing is ever going to change that." Which is basically the same thing, only, you know, nice. He smiles sweetly, because that's all he needed, because boys are easy.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: A- | 915 USERS: B-
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