Battlestar Galactica
Flight Of The Phoenix

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Blackbird Singing In The Dead Of Night

(I know what you're thinking, I'm some kind of rotten toasterfucking Cylon sympathizer. I don't know what to say except, "Guilty." They didn't ask for this war, but treating the Cylons like they're not sentient beings is what got the humans here. If you allow your enemy to define you, you deserve what you get. The humans are so reactive and freaked they can't see straight, or else we'd be finding out a whole lot more about what the Cylons are actually after. This is a twentieth-century war they're fighting, where you shoot first because the other guys are willing to die to exterminate you. Which gets you exterminated. But like, the twentieth century has been over for a while.)

Helo's drinking in Boomer's Raptor and Tyrol's getting ten kinds of aggro, lecturing Helo from portside about how Sharon flew X many missions and was terrible about her landings, and Helo fires right back: "Approaches made her nervous. She was afraid you'd be watching." Like he's a better boyfriend because he doesn't make Boomer nervous on her landings. It's all very awkward because they're talking about a whole lot of stuff in that boy way where you can't say what you mean. References are made to "her undercarriage," to give you a reference point for the territorial pissings going on here. Tyrol admits that he usually was watching her landings. Because he was totally in love with her and all that.

Back in the Officers' Mess, Racetrack folds. (She's the one who looks like Kat only more, like, elfin). Starbuck gasps because they're playing Space Poker and there are "three up." Racetrack points out that the Space Poker cards are old and spindled and mutilated and frakked, so she knows Starbuck's holding "Prince high red." God, like Earth Poker's not boring enough. Even Starbuck is like, "What, are you gonna cry?" and Racetrack climbs up on quite a soapbox to deliver the Message Of The Week: Things Are Sucky: "...I just want it to end, okay? The bad food, the endless rotations, pretending that a card game is the high point of our day." Kara ["a.k.a. Starbuck" -- Wing Chun] starts talking about Earth and all that crap as Racetrack gets her stuff together so that she can go be crazy somewhere else, and Racetrack points out the cruddy "planetarium show" nature of the Dionne Warwick Astrology Experience they had on Kobol. Starbuck suddenly tells everybody to go to hell and says she's going to go find Helo, because he feels alienated and left out due to his penchant for making toaster babies. Racetrack -- apparently born yesterday -- insinuates several things at once about both Starbuck and Helo, not to mention their relationship: "Good idea. Maybe that Cylon whore taught him a few tricks." Starbuck slams her ass.

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Battlestar Galactica

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