But Dad, he's saying: what about the unthinkable? What if the unthinkable happened? What would you think about that? How can you know if you know? How can you ever be sure? Lee's not doing anything to his father that Laura didn't do to her prisoner first. He's just doing it better.
FAR TOO KEEN ON WHERE & HOW, BUT NOT SO HOT ON WHY
Gaius stares at Derrick, breathing rough, lying with his mother on the center pallet. He moves to the door, buttoning up his shirt -- is he leaving? Is he leaving the cult? -- before turning back, staring down at them. He crosses back to Derrick, and kneels by his side, and awkwardly, repetitively, touches the child's hair. He begins to pray. How much of this is theatre?
"Please, God. I'm only asking you this one last time. Don't let this child die." Tears well up, but don't drop quite yet. "Has he sinned against you?" He interrupts himself: stupid question. "-- He can't have sinned against you. He's not even had a life yet." Paulla and Tracey wake up together, nearby, and settle quietly down to listen, in the silence. "How can you take him and let me live? After all I've done. Really, if you want someone to suffer, take me. We both know I deserve it." His hand on Derrick's head is fervent, and forgetful. Jeanne's eyes, turned on her side away from Gaius and the child, fill with tears. "I have been selfish and weak. I have failed so many people. And I have killed."
His tears begin to fall; his sobs become real. He has killed, he has been selfish and weak, and he has failed so many people. And the real tragedy of Gaius, the reason he deserves so desperately to be loved, is that he knows it. If he didn't, he wouldn't spend so much time looking for a way out. His head wouldn't be such a prison if he were just allowed to live there. For the same reason Bill loves Saul, and Lee loves Kara: forgiveness saves us both. A stupider man could forget it, and a smarter man could redeem himself, and know peace, but Gaius is neither, and both: his weakness is a world-changer.
"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I'm just asking that you spare the life of this innocent child. Don't take him. Take me." Jeanne weeps, for her boys. For her world. "Take me, take me please." The cult lies in the dark as Gaius Baltar stands, and walks away, staring up at the ceiling of their secret little heaven. Their dirty little garden in the shadows. Demand anything, anything at all.
AND THERE APPEARED AN ANGEL
Paulla, with the knowing grin of a schizophrenic, leads Gaius down a corridor, explaining how moved the whole cult was by Gaius's prayers for the kid. Which means now he knows that he had an audience, and that the cult is even creepier than he thought, because they just laid there listening to him cry. Gaius is like, "And yet he is way sicker, so please don't bug me about it right now." She points out that God's answer to prayers is sometimes "no," and that Derrick's immortal soul, at least, is under His loving care. "Yes, I wish I shared your confidence on that one," says Gaius for some reason. "I really do." Paulla sternly reminds him that he has no choice but to "keep the faith": "We all look to you for guidance." Gaius tells her not to, and as they enter the restroom, he looks at her. "I mean, you're just... Well, you're very young..." She's hurt, but bounces back. (She reminds me so much of Sexy Sadie from the Manson Family, it's amazing. I even like the actor, although normally any comparison to Marguerite Moreau would bring out the jealous boyfriend in me.) When Gaius asks why she's dragged him off the head, she pulls out a razor and giggles, and shuts the hatch behind her.