His tears begin to fall; his sobs become real. He has killed, he has been selfish and weak, and he has failed so many people. And the real tragedy of Gaius, the reason he deserves so desperately to be loved, is that he knows it. If he didn't, he wouldn't spend so much time looking for a way out. His head wouldn't be such a prison if he were just allowed to live there. For the same reason Bill loves Saul, and Lee loves Kara: forgiveness saves us both. A stupider man could forget it, and a smarter man could redeem himself, and know peace, but Gaius is neither, and both: his weakness is a world-changer.
"I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I'm just asking that you spare the life of this innocent child. Don't take him. Take me." Jeanne weeps, for her boys. For her world. "Take me, take me please." The cult lies in the dark as Gaius Baltar stands, and walks away, staring up at the ceiling of their secret little heaven. Their dirty little garden in the shadows. Demand anything, anything at all.
AND THERE APPEARED AN ANGEL
Paulla, with the knowing grin of a schizophrenic, leads Gaius down a corridor, explaining how moved the whole cult was by Gaius's prayers for the kid. Which means now he knows that he had an audience, and that the cult is even creepier than he thought, because they just laid there listening to him cry. Gaius is like, "And yet he is way sicker, so please don't bug me about it right now." She points out that God's answer to prayers is sometimes "no," and that Derrick's immortal soul, at least, is under His loving care. "Yes, I wish I shared your confidence on that one," says Gaius for some reason. "I really do." Paulla sternly reminds him that he has no choice but to "keep the faith": "We all look to you for guidance." Gaius tells her not to, and as they enter the restroom, he looks at her. "I mean, you're just... Well, you're very young..." She's hurt, but bounces back. (She reminds me so much of Sexy Sadie from the Manson Family, it's amazing. I even like the actor, although normally any comparison to Marguerite Moreau would bring out the jealous boyfriend in me.) When Gaius asks why she's dragged him off the head, she pulls out a razor and giggles, and shuts the hatch behind her.
Later, Paulla's shaving Gaius, still with that nutty look. (And can I just say how cruddy it is that Paulla's misspelled name just happens to be in a show recapped by the same person that recaps American Idol? It bites a tiny bit. Not huge in the scheme of things, especially this week, but still. Why Paulla? I think she looks like a "Ginger," possibly. Or, to go with the weird bisexual cult-member vibe, "Robia," late of Prince gal-pal flirt-pair Diamond and Pearl, and former Sunnydale computer teacher/technopagan. At least I know this won't ever happen with Gossip Girl ever, because their names are weirder than the names on this show any day. "This is my friend Bllair Walldorf. We're going to Berrgdorrf Ggoodmman.")