Credits. Oh my God! Take a rest if you need it. If you told me Cally got beat up, I'd laugh and buy the person a beer no questions asked, because you know she bothers me. Or so I thought. But it's not just the shocking parental-discretion part at the end of the teaser: Roslin's cuteness as she prepared and promptly lost it, Tory being adorable, the Caprica mission, Boomer's premonitions, the bad-assery at the start of the debates, Starbuck's fulfillment, Chief's dissolution. Is this what it would be like if you did all the drugs at once? My goodness. Battlestar Galactica just called, and it said that it's sorry you can't peel yourself off the screen. 49,579 souls in the Fleet and I don't even care to do the math right now! More show!
Tyrol sits at a table somewhere on Galactica, flashing back to his attack on Cally. Brother Cavill (Al from Quantum Leap! The Boy With Green Hair! That freaky guy from Blue Velvet! Everything you ever saw!) introduces himself, sitting across from Chief: "I understand you've asked for religious counseling." Cylon. Or at least a DEMAND PEACE monkey. ["Well, there is the name: to 'cavil' is 'to raise trivial and frivolous objection.' Is that what he's doing with Tyrol? How, and why, and for whom?" -- Wing Chun] Tyrol says that he's "never really believed" in conventional therapy, because his father was a priest. Whatever happens next, I'm glad Tyrol's involved in a religious issue, because the Fleet is 20\% Geminese and only accounts for 1/12 of the Fleet's governing body (unless you count Laura's connections), and it's necessary to have a focal character for that with whom we can identify, because it's been verified for me in an informal poll that, yes, I am the only person who actually loves Sarah Porter. Cavill: "I see. You thought you'd have an easier time with a priest than a real doctor. Okay." Shades of Scientology: if I don't call it Psychology, but it works exactly like any decent Psychology, then it's okay. "I pray to the Gods every night," says Tyrol, "but I don't think they listen to me." Cavill pulls a backflip right out the gate: "Do you know how useless prayer is? Chanting and singing and mucking about with old half-remembered lines of bad poetry. And you know what it gets you? Exactly nothing." Tyrol speaks for us all: "...Are you sure you're a priest?" I'll say it right now, every priest I've ever really talked to has basically said that same thing. The Gods are there when you get to the actual end of your rope, not when you're just fucking around and playing therapy case and beating up Cally. That's the point of the Gods. Remember that guy who was in the flood and the boat came by, and the helicopter came by, and the superhero came by, and the whole time the guy's like, "It's cool, God's got this one handled," so of course he dies horribly, and then gets all snotty with God, like, "Why weren't you there for me?" And God's like, "When the fuck was I not?" That's Geminon. It's only a pissing contest when you're lazy; God just wants you to be cool and work hard on being strong.