Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: B+
Queen Me

"And you made me in his image," Cavil bitches. "Thanks a million for that." Because he's the only person in the universe ever to mourn his genetic betrayal. (I got three words for you: man-boobs and insulin resistance, bitch.) It's weird to be born looking like the Boy with Green Hair 120 Years Later, yes, but on the other hand, you get more and better tail than anybody on this show besides Bill Adama, so grow up. Ellen immediately asks him for a drink, because the only constant in this show besides iterable return is that Ellen and Saul are fucking alcoholics.

The first thing she does is ask for a drink, which is the smartest thing this show ever did, because it answers and ignores the central Buffy question upfront: vampires come back they're a variable percentage, the whole point of Dollhouse is that they should come back zero percentage and don't, but here: if Cavil didn't block it, it remains. Which I love because it fits the story, and also makes sense in the overall. Two things remain about Ellen: girlfriend loves Tigh longer and harder and brighter and hotter than five stars and vice versa, and girlfriend loves a drink. (Neither of which spell happy nights to happy days for Bill, if he's going to play Mercutio in their little drama.) Ellen and her son John talk about how Saul just murdered her but she gets it, because she betrayed the Resistance.

Cavil jokes that nothing goes quite so stupid as true love, and she shakes it off: "He did what he thought was right, that's all any man can do." John points out that he's not a man, any more than she is a woman, and Ellen tries to meet his bullshit with her own: "As someone with firsthand knowledge, I beg to differ." Except she's been fucking him long as she's been fucking her son John, chronologically, so this is just a gambit. They laugh together like it's a French existentialist stage play; she sits on the floor, naked. John calls his mother a machine, and Saul; she reminds him that this is entirely dependent on definition. The words for things.

"Your ancestors didn't crawl up out of the swamp." But their souls did, didn't they? "Personally, I'm rather proud of that." Ellen shakes her head, disappointed, and her son explains that he's improved on her design. She notes that he's still "the same confused and petulant little boy" she loved so much once, and pronounces it "sad." But he doesn't have time for sad. Reacting to her disappointed "high hopes," he condescends that he had the same: "Unfortunately, it appears you still stick to delusional thinking instead of accepting the reality of your life for what it is. Humans have a word for that, Ellen: Schizophrenia." She laughs at him for using her name, but it's all just power games. She isn't even wearing clothes yet, crawling up out of the stuff of resurrection, but she's already gotten pulled into playing games with a computer. She asks for clothes, and as a last gambit he reminds her it's nothing he hasn't seen before.

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Battlestar Galactica




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