Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 4 USERS: A+
Admiral Cain, She Dead

In the Galactica Tool Room, the two crews are drinking moonshine. Vireem, apparently, toasts everybody, and for a second he's really quite good-looking. Everybody drinks, and Chief asks Laird where the Blackbird went. Laird calls Starbuck "Lieutenant Thrace," which you never hear, and says he was told that Cain wanted a performance check. Chief has questions about this total lie, for which Laird was unprepared because he's never dealt with Starbuck before, but another of the Pegasus crew starts yelling about how much booze rules. "This place is a fracking party!" he screams, and Vireem pipes up, "Oh, I heard you guys even got yourselves a Cylon. Heard she's a hot one, too." The boozehound one, Gage, gets pretty lewd at this point, doing a vulgar dance, and they start up with that gang-rapist homoeroticism bullshit that I will never understand, except to say, "Occam's Razor, guys," so they don't notice Helo's face. You know the one. They keep going on and on about how they're looking forward to raping Boomer. Cally and some female techs are grossed out and angry -- I wonder the percentage on how much that has to do with Boomer and how much has to do with what happened to Cally on the Astral Queen. Well, Cally loves Chief too, though, so she's got a lot going on right now. Chief tries to calm them down and shut them the hell up, and Vireem starts joking that Chief must have a "soft spot for the little robot girl."

Cut to Sharon's cell, where she's doing crunches. Thorne enters with some heavily-armed Marines and Boomer stands up, roughly asking, "Who the hell are you?" He cocks his head at her.

Back in the even-more-appropriately-named-than-ever Tool Room, Vireem and Gage are laughing nostalgically about their abuse of Gina: Thorne put up a sign reading "Please Disturb" on the brig, and the Pegasus crewmen started lining up. Vireem jokes about how eventually she just laid there, blankly: "Like, duhhhhh..." Cally and the other women tell them to fuck off, and leave. Vireem and Gage continue to laugh drunkenly. (Note to my dear readers: When this point comes, at the frat party? And it will. Please, please take a leaf from Cally's book here, because it's not going to get better. Trust me.)

In Sharon's cell, Thorne shows her the recon photo, roughly asking the mystery ship's function, which she doesn't know. He grabs her by the throat -- why always the throat, Boomer? -- and shoves the picture in her face, demanding to know why two basestars would be tasked to its protection. Choking, she continues to plead ignorance, and he pushes her against the wall by the neck. He throws her onto the bed and slaps her, really hard. Coughing from the strangling, Sharon continues to insist that she doesn't know, but she's getting scared.

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Battlestar Galactica




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