Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Garden Of The Scar

Kara looks at Galen and Sam and wonders WTF is wrong with them. "It's sitting here the same way it has been for months. What made you think something was happening?" They stare awkwardly at the shiny Viper; Sam practically starts digging his sneaker into the ground. "Hard to explain, you know. It's... it's just a feeling?" Kara nods sharply. "Yeah, I've got a feeling too. You're both out of your frakkin' minds." Rimshot! Sam takes the offensive. "You know, you had a feeling you could find Earth. I trusted you, backed you every step of the way. Now I need you to trust ours."

And probably, she would have, because weird magic shit is kind of her thing at this point, and there is something undeniably shiny about the Viper, but just then a Marine squad enters, guns drawn, looking hardcore. "Ensign Anders. Specialist Tyrol. Slowly put your hands on your heads and face the Viper," says Sergeant Brandy Harder. She was the one who let Roslin go during her very first mutiny, so long ago; she was the one Kara beat the crap out of in the Hall of Remembrance and who didn't care if Tigh raped Caprica, more recently. She doesn't like Cylons.

Kara is bemused. Sam is freaked out. Galen just laughs, because the chairness of Galen is irony and there's no antidote for irony so he laughs. Harder tells a very angry Kara that they're Cylons -- "just like the XO" -- and Galen (once again up against the wall, just like the good old days when he was getting court-martialed for killing Thorne) exhales loudly and hilariously. This joke of his.

Kara stares in their direction, but can't look at Sam. She says his name, softly, and his eyes dart to Galen's; with black humor he just nods. "Go ahead." Sam is ashamed, and quiet. "It's true, Kara."

Imagine a black stone, and a white. Look at the space between them. Examine it carefully.

The Marines take Sam and Galen away, and as he goes -- remember Antigone, how Kara screamed over her shoulder at every opportunity -- Sam begs her to check the Viper. To find the thing that's changed. But she knows the thing that's changed: it's her. Because the last thing she was thinking just now was about a bullet between Sam Anders' eyes. The very last thing.


THIS IS A WILD GUESS

Ugh, these people. So the Centurions are herding hostages through the rebel Basestar, and Hotdog's screaming, and the Eight's offering to shoot him where he stands, and meanwhile in the airlock Sam and Galen are having a Deadpanning Bee about who can whistle loudest past the graveyard as their shackled forms are pushed into a row with Saul, and Sam's winning because he manages to ask Saul, "This is a wild guess, you told them?" with a straight face, and Saul -- this is a very Cylon thing he's doing these days -- totally goes, "We should've done it day one," I guess that was sometime between pretending nothing was wrong and putting the gun and liquor on the table and calling for a four-way suicide pact and prostituting Tory and holding constant meetings about how they shouldn't be holding so many meetings, they could have fit that in, and Lee duallas for the Baseship and she hoshis in turn for the Baseship because what if they held a pissing contest and nobody came.

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Battlestar Galactica

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