Battlestar Galactica

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 3 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Garden Of The Scar

Then Starbuck says, "You heard the signal. The final Cylons led me to it. If it's Earth, they've given us the home of the Thirteenth Tribe. Just the way the Hybrid said it would happen. Like it or not, Lee, something's orchestrating this for a purpose." And because sometimes this show just goes ahead and cooks and cuts and then eventually chews your meat for you, what she means is: "The final Cylons led me to it. If it's Earth, they've given us the home of the Thirteenth Tribe. Just the way the Hybrid said it would happen. Like it or not, Lee, something's orchestrating this for a purpose." And he goes, "A higher power." And what he means is, "A higher power?"

So Kara's all, "Call it whatever you want, but it seems to want us to find Earth. With the Cylons." And what she means is, "We have a limited amount of time left in this episode, so just get convinced already, for no real reason at all, even though you were fighting me on this also for no real reason at all, immediately after getting into a cold war hostage situation with real live nuclear weapons for no real reason at all and a threat level of zero." So he does. He just... decides that there is magic and that messages from beyond really do exist and that Kara knows what she's talking about. Or, you know, all the things he believed immediately prior to the beginning of this stupid scene.


JUST GET CONVINCED ALREADY, PART 2

Speaking of stupid scenes, hey, here's the one I've been wanting since like 1999 when this show started, as performed by felt figures of your favorite characters being moved around in stop-motion photography on a felt background like everybody in the high school grades got the mumps so you have to go to little-kid Sunday School and deal with effing felt. Well, the music is really good, and of course the acting, and some of the shots are quite artful, so I shouldn't pretend it's anything other than a writer thing. Three and her Eight, and some Centurions, come onto Galactica and confirm the readings in the shiny Viper while Marines stand watch. Three compares it to a needle in a haystack, this signal, and then asks the Four if they agree that it's the way to Earth. They're like, "Lady, we don't even know which side our bread is buttered on, or where to stick it."

Lee explains -- as though he, Three, and we were all just visited with massive head trauma -- that the Colonials could've jumped away with this info and left Three and her nukes behind, but that would've led to another confrontation, another standoff. Three responds, because apparently she has suffered some kind of brain injury, "All this has happened before..." Which is the perfect opportunity for President Leland to switch it up and explain that, contrary to hoary old colloquialism and all-purpose spiritual saying, it doesn't have to happen again.

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Battlestar Galactica

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