Battlestar Galactica
Scattered

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Lost In Space

Kobol. Tyrol's squad reaches the ruins of the Opera House. I'm sure that, on the way, Tyrol put a baby bird back in its nest, and also built Cally some comfy yet fashionable shoes out of leaves and bark. Meanwhile, Crashdown has managed to accidentally set his own hair on fire. I'm just saying, they might be overdoing Tyrol's competency just a tiny bit. So: Targ finds the missing medkit. They prepare to head back. Well, that was easy to recap.

And now they're in the woods, headed back to the others. Cally grumbles that she shouldn't have to carry the medkit, since Targ is the one who forgot it. Targ explains that he's on point. Tyrol joins the banter by offering to put Targ on "hangar deck mop-up duty" next week. Ah, the first flaw in Tyrol's competence. Listen, Tyrol, you're in a war movie now. You know what happens when people talk about the future in war movies? Targ protests that Crashdown should be the one on mop-up duty. And immediately the glade is sprayed with gunfire. As is Targ's chest. Well, it's a good thing they got that second medkit, right? The shots are coming from the top of the ridge they're passing under. As the shots continue, Tyrol hands Cally his rifle and they both fire up the hillside while trying to get to Targ. Targ occupies himself with some writhing and screaming. Another spray of bullets catches Targ in the leg. And then Matthew Modine finds out the sniper is a woman, and then he thinks he's a bird, and then he rents an apartment to Michael Keaton. Wait, actually, Cally fires up the hill more or less randomly as Tyrol finally manages to run over to Targ and pull him to a slightly more sheltered spot under the ridge. Tyrol keeps telling Targ, "You're okay, you're okay," which, if I were Targ, would bug the hell out of me. Then Tyrol hoists Targ up across his shoulders, and it's really wrong that at this point I was thinking, "Oo, Tyrol's using Targ as body armor! Good thinking!" Tyrol carries Targ toward the camera, and Targ screams in pain.

Commercials. Oh, look, speaking of Full Metal Jacket, there's Adam Baldwin! Oh. It's Firefly. Never mind.

When we return, Cally tells Tyrol, "They're not following us anymore." They've moved an unspecified distance and settled down by a nice tree trunk. The good news is that Targ isn't screaming anymore. The bad news is that Targ isn't screaming anymore. Tyrol sets Targ down and tries to check his wounds, keeping up his reassuring patter the whole time. Targ mutters, "I wanna go home, Chief." Aw. Tyrol keeps saying "hey" and "it's okay" and "stay with me" and so on. And then Tyrol finally stops saying those things, because Targ's dead. Cally looks down from her position on the hillside, takes in the situation, and tells Tyrol that they've got to move. Tyrol, momentarily freed from his need to be reassuring, screams something about "stupid, frakked-up crap." He must have seen the Firefly ad. Cally reminds Tyrol that they have to get back to Socinus, and packs up the medkit. Tyrol snifflingly bends over Targ again, and Cally grabs Tyrol by the gunstrap (hello, nurse) and tugs as she says, "Let's go." Tyrol takes Targ's dog tags and follows her.

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Battlestar Galactica

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