Romo chose safety, the day of the Exodus. And as long as Lance lived, he was penance and he was guilt and he was shame and he was survival. He was wife and daughters, and he was Geminon and Caprica and Tauron and Aerelon. He was that which remains; he was that without which. And then he was gone, and Romo crawled into a dark place and couldn't come out for anything but Lee.
"Romo. We've all had to make difficult choices, you don't think I know? Your wife's name was Faye. You had two daughters, Jennifer and Katie. There were over two hundred passengers on that shuttle; only a handful chose to stay behind." Romo looks at him. "Yeah, that's right. It was in your file when you were handed the job as Baltar's counsel. But no one blamed you, Romo." Romo can't swallow that. Nobody wants the embarrassment of absolution. Romo doesn't know, can't believe, that young green Lee Adama wrote the Olympic Carrier on his heart the same day Laura did: "Because at a certain point, we all made decisions that saved our lives at the cost of others. You think you're unique, Romo? Think your sins are so special?"
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
"Is that it, counselor? You're gonna rest your entire case on that pathetic little bit of insight?" Romo's barely there; his Suit's ripped open and his shame is showing. The box is open: alive or dead?
"No, on this. The clean slate, the fresh start. Maybe they are illusions, like you said. But at a certain point, faith -- in ourselves, in our right to survive as a species, as a people -- that's not a given, that's a choice. Well, I've made mine. And if you can't stomach that, then you had damn well better squeeze that trigger right now. Go on. What are you waiting for?"
If forgiveness is too heavy a burden, if hope is your enemy, then I am your enemy. Shoot your enemy.
Lee cocks his head and makes a very cute face. "Or you can make a choice. Put your past behind you, put the gun down and help me, because I'm telling you I'm gonna make a difference in this Fleet."