A List With Nothing On It
The Raptor cabin is illuminated: Hoshi and Racetrack, hailing from the edge of hope. The light falls on blood, and torn bodies. He can barely make it out; he's trying not to dream. "You're nowhere near the Fleet, baby, but you're good!" All around him are the bodies: the deckhand, the crewmen, and the girl who saved his life. The girl who broke his heart, and killed him, with a list of truths too large to tell.
Nine days after Earth, the Colonel tells Felix that they won't be investigating. A pile of bodies, a single Cylon onboard, would only jeopardize the alliance. Felix says, without preamble, that the alliance shouldn't exist at all. He's lived that story; he can taste it on his lips. It's too big. "Cylon technology is gonna keep this fleet moving," Tigh says lightly -- or as lightly as Tigh says things -- but Felix asks to speak directly with Adama, since the Colonel is a Cylon. The Colonel, who called him son; who gave him the gift of a week's vacation and turned him into a Razor; who now wants to sweep it all away. Tigh's taken aback, but invites Felix to the senior staff meeting this afternoon. "There's a meeting later today to discuss some new idea of Mr. Tyrol's. You can let the Admiral in on your views there." Oh, and he will.
In the corridor, Hoshi's confused. Why set up a meeting with Adama? What could have happened out there, to change Felix's views on the basics of the Fleet? Why rock the boat, when survival is changing definition right before them? Too many questions, scratching at places that have been burnt black. Too much fear, too much hate, too much of anything but the right thing, that nobody else can see yet. And Hoshi can't see it, so he comes off the list too. No faith, no hope, no love.
"Look. You found me and you saved me, so I'll protect you. But if this doesn't work out, and if I'm wrong... You have a bright future, Louis. Keep your head down."
First Hoshi, and then Sickbay, and then the meeting. He won't be heard; his eyes will be hooded, he will learn to hate them all again. And then Zarek. And that fire will light him up again.