MONDO EXTRAS
A List With Nothing On It
"I know what your Eight did," Gaius whispered into his ear, begging for death, and Felix picked up a pen and shoved it in Gaius's throat. Something singing, burning in a place he couldn't see. His leg burns, aches more than any morpha could salve: nothing hurts as much as something that's not there anymore. There is no relief, so he must strike out, and that's what he did. And that's what he does now. It's still too big, so he grabs the scalpel and kills Sweet Eight, too. For doing the right thing. And then he is alone.
Felix tries to inject the morpha he has left, first one wish and then the other, but loses it before sticking himself with the second dose. He begins to sing:
Alone, she sleeps in the shirt of man
With my three wishes clutched in her hand
The first, that she be spared the pain
That comes from a dark and laughing rain
He sings it for a better world, ended. It was the only song that brought him solace. It was the song he sang to the empty space, to the itch he couldn't scratch, to make it quiet down again. It was too big. There were too many kinds of love, in the world, in the end. Too many ways for the song to die.
When she finds love, may it always stay true
This I beg, for the second wish I made too
But wish no more
My life you can take
He sings it as a small retribution, losing consciousness altogether, falling asleep in a net of unfamiliar stars. Most of all, he sings it for a fire that has gone out. A dream for a better world, finally extinguished. Literally translated, her name means "she who will rise again." He sings for her.
To have her please just one day wake
To have her please just one day wake
Maybe it's hope, or faith. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's oxygen depletion. Maybe they were right, and his will to survive burns brighter than the fire that Hoshi loves so much in him. Maybe he's waiting to rise again. Maybe he's waiting to die out here, alone, in the black, among unfamiliar stars. Maybe that's his salvation. Or maybe that's a very long list with nothing on it: Maybe he's just already dead.













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