Battlestar Galactica
The Hand Of God

Episode Report Card
Strega: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Kick; Splode; Robot

In yet another new room, Tigh and Starbuck show Baltar a blown-up image of the base. Tigh says that Baltar is their "Cylon expert," and asks how they can blow up the base without destroying all of the ore. Starbuck explains that a nuke would take out the base, and Baltar adds, "But the radiation would render the ore inert, unusable." He goes on with some technobabble, the point of which is that if they hit the processing plant in the right place, the tylium will explode in a "suitably devastating" chain reaction without any radioactive fallout. Baltar mostly talks directly to Starbuck, because he's still hoping to impress her, I guess. He finally tells her to blow up the staging tanks that hold "the refined tylium precursor." Baltar explains, "It's a lot more...unstable...than the fuel itself." He looks sort of amused and self-aware when he says "unstable," and I giggle. Starbuck asks where the staging tanks are. Baltar stares at her.

And then Baltar's lying on his back on a massage table, on the porch of his domicylon. Six is rubbing his arms as he says that he needs her advice. Six says she doesn't know anything about tylium refineries. Baltar says that he doesn't, either, but insists that Six must have some idea where they should bomb the base. Six rubs his chest and suggests that God knows which spot to bomb. Baltar sighs, "Oh. Good." He figures that God is unlikely to help, since he's the Cylon God. Six leans over Baltar and says, "God doesn't take sides. He only wants your love." Six, incidentally, is wearing another Star Trek-style dress made out of a wide scarf, and some amazing high heels. She tells Baltar that if he opens his heart, God will show him the way. Baltar kvetches, "Be a lot simpler if you came out and told me." Six moves up to stand behind Baltar's head, and urges him to surrender his ego. I don't know what would be left of him if he did that. Baltar goes on complaining, and Six tells him to relax his neck. Baltar nervously asks why, and says, "Please don't --" Then Six suddenly twists his head, cracking his neck. Not in the deadly way, though.

Back in the real world, Baltar rubs his neck as Starbuck asks again where the tanks are. Baltar looks disoriented, but eventually turns to look at the photo. He suddenly points at one spot and declares, "Right there," very firmly. He says, "Hit any one of them, and the place will go up like a three-kiloton bomb."

A few minutes later, Baltar strolls down a corridor before stopping for his mid-afternoon panic attack. Six rubs his shoulders and then turns him around to insist, "So forceful, so decisive. Delivered with such élan." Heh. Baltar almost sadly tells her that God didn't speak to him. "I was totally lying. I just picked that spot at random." Six insists that God doesn't always speak in words. Baltar quietly moans, "So the fate of the entire human race depends upon my wild guess?" Six smiles. And then Baltar's standing alone in the corridor, with his arms folded, as some passing soldiers stare at him. There was some debate as to why Baltar didn't just say, "I don't know." I think it's partly because Baltar's not so good at saying that, and also because he knows that this is the fleet's only hope of refueling. If he says that he doesn't know, the plan's fucked, and they're probably going to wind up trying to colonize a planet and dying shortly thereafter. And no, it's not a terribly sane decision, but that's Baltar for you, so it doesn't bug me too much.

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Battlestar Galactica

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