Battlestar Galactica
The Passage

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: B+
With Honors

Cialis commercial, and then back to the basestar. That's beautiful somehow. Three and Gaius stand in the Hybrid chamber, where she's saying funny stuff this week: "... One degree angle nominal seascape portrait of the womanchild cavern of the soul under pressure-heat ratio ides of evolutions have buried their fears... throughout history the nexus between man and machine has spun some of the most dramatic compelling and entertaining fiction." I want to write Hybrid all day long; I think it's my default setting. The difference between "Pythia" and "Bithia" is aspiration. Or is it voice? I always forget. /p/ is unvoiced, that's right: the Hybrid doesn't get a vote. (I'm not going near the obvious "bilabial plosive" joke.) The difference between the Hybrid and Three is aspiration. Or is it voice? "So this is where you got the idea to start intentionally downloading," says Gaius. Which I find fascinating, aspirationally speaking. "Gestalt therapy and escape clauses," offers the Hybrid, and I tend to agree. But the last thing the Cylons need right now is Gestalt: I'm thinking Reichian. Possibly Montessori. "Right, let's see what we can find out," he says, and fully reaches down into the water, like a total Ugly American, horrifying Three and causing me to scream like Martha Stewart getting peed on by Borat. That is so fucking crass. Three wigs, but I think she's just being superstitious; I don't know. You don't piss in the Grail and you don't go wiggling your hairy knuckles in the pure stuff of resurrection. Especially not in the presence of two women who continually/constantly bathe in it. Plus me. Gross me out.

Three begs him not to touch it -- egging him on, which she has to know on some level, the level that's already risked levels and levels of heresy to get to the truth -- but he does anyway. The Hybrid grabs his hand, suddenly sensate: "Intelligence. A mind that burns like a fire." And it's Gaius, so you know he's like, "Right here, that's me!" She tells him to "Find the hand that lies in the shadow of the light. In the eye of the husband of the eye of the cow." Which... there's got to be a better way to say that. It's the eye of Zeus, Hera's husband, cow-eyed Hera (because apparently they had Homeric epithets in the Colonies), but it's just so... The Thing of the Guy of the Place of the Way of the Deal. Of Latter-Day Cylons. It was "Zeus" right up until Friday, I'm given to assume, given that there are (smoothly done but noticeable) cuts to the backs of people's heads every time they say "Jupiter." It's the Eye of Jupiter that we're looking for, and that the next episode is named after. Greasy-maned Gaius falls back and bored-faced Three's like, "It's crazy, right? Talks crazy?" But goo-fingered Gaius explains to silky-haired Three about the Hera stuff, and Three's like, "Could there be a connection between their Gods and ours?" (And this show kills you with the pronouns, because I think when she says "ours" she means hers and Gaius's. Which would be like the crappiest God ever.) Also: duh, Three. Pythian Oracles and Eleusinian Mysteries of death and resurrection and you're thinking maybe there's a connection?

"It's a location. A planet hidden in the shadow of light -- probably a cluster of stars -- that'll lead us to the eye of Jupiter. And to the hand hidden in the shadow of light. Probably some type of artifact." They fuss around about hands and five fingers and five faces and generally X-Files it right up, but basically: so everything's at stake now on the Algae Planet. The Eye of Jupiter to get one step closer to Earth, Gaius's stupid Cylon destiny, and Three's whole bag of bullshit, plus on the human side, you know, the algae that this whole episode is about. It's like somebody wants the Colony and Cylon to have to deal with each other. I'm sure that'll go fucking great.

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Battlestar Galactica




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