LSO Kelly is the big beefy guy that looks like gay Larry crossed with Peyton Manning, the one football player I know, and what he's doing is giving Lee and Romo the runaround. About what? About that Raptor that suddenly doesn't need to be requisitioned in advance and is just sitting on the deck all gassed up and ready for a joyride. I figured that took place between scenes, but Kelly's the LSO: he shouldn't be surprised that Lee's coming to board the Raptor that he just called up and asked for, so I am going with "this is stupid." Kelly reminds Lee about staying grounded, per the Admiral's orders -- "the father factor," Badger hums -- and Lee begs. "Give me a break, I'm along for the ride!" Kelly asks him not to do this to him, that he's "in enough dung already," and who knows what that means either since it's a strange line coming from nowhere, unless by "dung" he means "pointless and bizarre Angeli hate-motivation that makes no sense at all," in which case I withdraw the objection, because: he's in enough dung already for real. Like a little bitch, Apollo steps around him, nose in the air, and boards Sharon's Raptor. He sits down beside her and nods, and Chief orders the Raptor a tow -- Didn't we used to have shuttles? Didn't we call them "shuttles"? -- and all of a sudden, things get so desperately idiotic that I have to go lie down now.
... Okay, so what happens is that Lampkin's cat either escapes of its own accord and goes wandering out onto the Raptor's exterior, or Lampkin lets the cat out of his bag for some reason, and then the cat goes shooting down the wing like a regular cat moseying around but sped up to hyperfast speed, like somebody just discovered television, and the Chief acts weird about the cat and chases it around, for a good goddamn long time, and Lampkin's running around, possibly calling Lance the cat "JoJo," and then Chief crawls under the Raptor going "Here, kitty kitty," and then he looks up and sees the bomb on the underside of the Raptor, and realizes that it's a bomb, and yells BOMB, and everybody panics. Which is one very long sentence but a very broad kind of embarrassment. There's a cat? The whole point of the cat was to make ex-wife jokes and then randomly lead Chief to the bomb? That's fucking stupid. That's for some other show, a shitty show I don't watch. Unless somehow Romo wanted Lee in the hangar bay to see but not get blown up by the bomb, and manipulated Kelly into becoming crazy and making no sense, and has cat-control powers, and is able to manipulate the Raptor schedule without Lee knowing it, and both does and does not know what a bomb looks like... unless all of these things are true, this episode is shitty in at least one of six ways. And unless all these things are true, it's much more possible that this episode is shitty in all six.













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