Outside: "Fly me to Colonial One." Immediately. Now. "You don't understand, you can't just jump in a Raptor. These are things have to be coordinated." Except for in a second, when the Raptor they're using just happens to be ready to fly, Sharon in the cockpit, bomb armed underneath. I hate this episode. "Where would you rather be, Major? Here, as the parade float for the bereaved?" Too far, but he knows it: strings behind strings. "... Everybody looking at you like you're bleeding out of your side... " Lee tells him he'll be seeing real blood in a second, and Lampkin looks at him, over his glasses. Watch his eyes: he only lies when he's looking at you. He's like the anti-Adama. Which is of course exactly what Lee's been looking for since he was in his teens. "Oh, there is someone home! Look, I need those files. You come with me, they might just give them to me. I wait, they're gonna discover that Baltar's pregnant before I get them." That's not the game, I don't know what his game is yet, but that's not why he needs Lee in the hangar right now. Maybe it's just the shitty script making up problems for itself to solve, maybe it's something else. I know if Mark Sheppard weren't such a great actor I'd automatically assume the former. "What is your job, anyway? Keep me alive, or keep me from doing mine?" Actually, the correct answer is "command the frakkin' Air Group," but whatever. The pointless and confusing shell game of finding out Helo and Lee's job each week has been a lynchpin of the series since the first season. I actually like it when Lee's with the Marines, because I think he also likes it best, but I have high hopes for this legal thing.
LSO Kelly is the big beefy guy that looks like gay Larry crossed with Peyton Manning, the one football player I know, and what he's doing is giving Lee and Romo the runaround. About what? About that Raptor that suddenly doesn't need to be requisitioned in advance and is just sitting on the deck all gassed up and ready for a joyride. I figured that took place between scenes, but Kelly's the LSO: he shouldn't be surprised that Lee's coming to board the Raptor that he just called up and asked for, so I am going with "this is stupid." Kelly reminds Lee about staying grounded, per the Admiral's orders -- "the father factor," Badger hums -- and Lee begs. "Give me a break, I'm along for the ride!" Kelly asks him not to do this to him, that he's "in enough dung already," and who knows what that means either since it's a strange line coming from nowhere, unless by "dung" he means "pointless and bizarre Angeli hate-motivation that makes no sense at all," in which case I withdraw the objection, because: he's in enough dung already for real. Like a little bitch, Apollo steps around him, nose in the air, and boards Sharon's Raptor. He sits down beside her and nods, and Chief orders the Raptor a tow -- Didn't we used to have shuttles? Didn't we call them "shuttles"? -- and all of a sudden, things get so desperately idiotic that I have to go lie down now.