Battlestar Galactica
The Son Also Rises

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
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You Are All A Lost Generation

... Okay, so what happens is that Lampkin's cat either escapes of its own accord and goes wandering out onto the Raptor's exterior, or Lampkin lets the cat out of his bag for some reason, and then the cat goes shooting down the wing like a regular cat moseying around but sped up to hyperfast speed, like somebody just discovered television, and the Chief acts weird about the cat and chases it around, for a good goddamn long time, and Lampkin's running around, possibly calling Lance the cat "JoJo," and then Chief crawls under the Raptor going "Here, kitty kitty," and then he looks up and sees the bomb on the underside of the Raptor, and realizes that it's a bomb, and yells BOMB, and everybody panics. Which is one very long sentence but a very broad kind of embarrassment. There's a cat? The whole point of the cat was to make ex-wife jokes and then randomly lead Chief to the bomb? That's fucking stupid. That's for some other show, a shitty show I don't watch. Unless somehow Romo wanted Lee in the hangar bay to see but not get blown up by the bomb, and manipulated Kelly into becoming crazy and making no sense, and has cat-control powers, and is able to manipulate the Raptor schedule without Lee knowing it, and both does and does not know what a bomb looks like... unless all of these things are true, this episode is shitty in at least one of six ways. And unless all these things are true, it's much more possible that this episode is shitty in all six.

Adama yells at Lee for being on the hangar bay being Romo's bodyguard, when his orders were to... be Romo's bodyguard. Lee points this out, and Adama's like, "Except how your job is not to be led around by the nose," and yells about how the "bastard yanked [his] chain," so he jumped... none of which even happened. I get the point of the scene, and it's stupid, and the dialogue would be stupid anyway, but the motivations don't scan. Apparently Bill's upset because a bomb blew up, so he's acting irrational about it. Which is fine, and appropriate to the ongoing story, but there are two problems with it so far: 1) Bill Adama wouldn't react like this, and 2) nobody would react like this. It's like somebody wrote down a short outline of how the episode was supposed to go, and then that's what turned into the script. BILL AND LEE FIGHT ABOUT KARA'S DEATH AND THE BOMB AND ALSO HOW ROMO IS LEADING LEE AWAY FROM HIS FATHER. And since that's what the outline says, that's damn well what is going to happen in this scene, even if it makes no sense on a character level or even in terms of the proceedings of the episode's plotlines. So all of a sudden Bill's jealous of Romo and Lee, except that hasn't happened yet; Bill's pissed about his child's life being in danger, even though he assigned his child to this danger; Bill's upset because nobody cares that his daughter died, even though everybody totally cares. It's just so stupid. Lee brings up again that he was assigned to security, and Bill just goes off the deep end, asshole-wise, pointing out that even within the context of being wrong in this argument, he's still somehow right, because for "security," Lee sure did a bad job finding a bomb. So dumb.

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Battlestar Galactica

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