Robert yells at the Marines he summoned that Helo is "lost" and hurting Dualla, and Helo screams that he poisoned her, but of course we know he didn't, because she's mentioned like six times that she hates Sagittarons as much as he does, or whatever. Robert screams for Tigh, hoping to leverage his sexy mix of racism and misuse of authority to get Helo off his back so he can go back to his creepy death experiments, and Dualla continues to bitch, and Tigh and Cottle are still walking, and you already know everything that's going to happen, because this episode is -- did I mention -- embarrassingly poor in quality, so there's a lot more of Dualla whining and Helo being all King Kong with Marines flying around him like biplanes and Robert screaming about unrelated shit. "I don't know what kind of a crusade you're on, or who you're trying to impress, but it seriously is not working," he says. Which is another really awesome line, because: WORD! Stop killing people for no reason and maybe we could be friends, because you really have a gift for the one-liners.

As Tigh and Cottle finally get down the longest corridor in existence and enter, Helo screams about how Robert's killing people by injecting them with liquid death, and Tigh comes in and tells everybody to chill. "Saul," says Robert, relieved. "You told me he was a flake, you didn't tell me he was dangerous!" Tigh tells him to shut the frack up and then everybody stands around and stresses out for awhile. Cottle checks Dee -- she's fine, of course -- and Robert's like, the hell? "You don't believe him, do you? He's seriously delusional! Needs help." And Tigh -- I will never forgive him for this -- fully goes, "Yeah, and we should've given it to him." Oh My God, how does that happen? How do you just blatantly go there? Is it a result of not getting hugged enough as a child? What would lead you to construct a narrative so unremittingly bullshitty and then end it with Tigh, the voice of authority -- just because you have major issues with women doesn't mean you get along with men -- being all Adama about it. "We, humanity at large, will now apologize for not seeing how truly special and magical and amazing you really are. Please accept our humble apologies...and this platter of cookies."

Cottle admits that he lied, and didn't actually check Willie's blood until a couple of hours ago. "I was exhausted, and I'll admit the Sagittarons annoy the hell out of me, and I didn't want to go against my colleague...but you were right about the records, Helo. There was no bitamucin in the King boy's body." So that's two. They should just go all Lord Of The Rings and kneel down and call him liege or whatever. Robert protests that Willie died because it was too late for treatment, but Cottle reminds him of what he just said, about checking the body out. "No, he didn't. He died of acute cell destruction. He was injected with a toxic bisphosphonate!" There's a little of the old Cottle spark for a second, which is nice. Robert protests and whatever, Cottle shoots him down about Buckminster Senior as well, and Helo takes a few swipes in there of the "you are a sick frack" type, and Robert is like, "You ought to be on your knees thanking me for saving your daughter's life!" Which is...totally true, which doesn't explain why Helo growls like a jungle cat and jumps for his throat and has to be restrained by Marines. And then Robert "explains" what the fuck "happened" in this "episode," and it's a real "treat."