Kara ditches Sam so she can watch Lee bareknuckle Helo. Lee, of course, takes it on the chin. (Everything sounds dirty this week!) Unluckily, 'Buck's got next, so we get to sit through their whole tureen of bullshit that we already probably wrote a five-part fanfic about. Meanwhile, Laura and Bill hang out and are adorable, plus total potheads. Also, New Caprica was -- this just in -- radically sucky. Day 123 of the Colonization: Gaius sucks; Saul and Ellen are still heartbreaking; Chief and Cally drink poison/set themselves on fire/die horribly/over and over/for a bajillion years OR they are pregnant and whine their stupid asses off. YOUR CALL. Starbuck and Apollo fuck from like Thursday to Monday; Dualla and Anders sit around munching on Cheetos and -- to be fair -- going: "Fucking FINALLY."*
Next morning: even Adama can't stand the sight of Cally or Chief/banish them to New Caprica OR start their new family on the settlement (YOUR CALL); Starbuck and Apollo go 8000 varieties of Bareback Boomer after their gross liaison, and get married in a goddamn hurry to their respective beards/soulmates (YOUR CALL), and act all shifty/Scientologist about everything. Adama and Chief punch each other a lot, because "Galen" means "physician" and "Adama" means "scab-picker," but Adama turns it into a slow-clap moment, as you know his ass is wont to do. Then Lee and Kara enter the ring and, one assumes, make hideous hatefucking love in front of everybody. Sam and Dee are like, "OMG! So done with these dudes," and then get married and have lots of gorgeous muscled babies, because the only people that care about those particular douchebags at this point are the shippers. (And your recapper. YOUR CALL.)
Good: Lee and Kara actually say something about something, instead of whining and secret cutting. Also Ellen. Bad: No Cylon baseship threesome/Jesus fooferaw; and Cally and Chief continue to suck balls, even as they make more and more sense and become more and more goddamn sympathetic. Other: Great episode, wonderfully done, very effective. Nice way of uniting all the characters in story rather than just focusing on (my) favorites and ignoring everybody else. Like you should be doing.
(*Also: "â¦Fucking FINALLY." Because fucking finally.)
Previously, everybody was awfully tired, so when they colonized New Caprica, everybody wanted to go down there. Tigh went with Ellen and more than half the crew; Kara and Anders went down; Chief and Cally went down. Then the Cylons came, and Adama eventually saved almost everybody. Lee went from being in love with Kara to marrying Dualla, his relationship with whom was always a bit of a joke to Kara. But he tried to make it work. Kara's own marriage didn't go quite so well, and after her abduction and imprisonment by Leoben, she asked for a divorce.
Now there's a pair of people boxing under bright lights: it's Apollo and Helo. Last seen fighting over whether or not they should commit genocide on Helo's wife's people.
Eighteen months ago, the morning after breaking ground on New Caprica, Apollo woke up naked, on the ground. He was alone.
Helo and Lee circle each other; Lee remembers dancing with Kara the day they broke ground on the settlement; how he kissed Dualla on the wing of a Raptor one morning, in the bright sunshine.
Starbuck climbs off Anders and thanks him, saying it was just what she needed. She immediately starts getting dressed, and he snits that he's glad to be of service.
Sharon cheers Helo on at the match, as he hits Lee again and again.
Starbuck can't find her shirt and is getting more and more frustrated. She needs out. She's running late. There's a dance. Anders finds it, but holds it out of her reach. "Kara, I want you back. I want our marriage back. I want a real marriage." And if she's not ready for that? "I don't know. Then I guess you'll never be. Maybe because I'm not what you really want after all." That is precisely two-thirds of the point. Good on Anders. Why is he here? ["For me? Is that reason enough?" -- Joe R] She stares at him and grabs her dogtags: "I'm late for the dance." She'll need her dogtags for the dance; Sam already said he doesn't want them anymore. At the door, she grabs his boots and hurls them inside. He lies back as she slams the door behind her.
Looking down on the floor, Kara watches the fight. She remembers waking up with Apollo, on New Caprica; she heads downstairs to the ring. Kat's urging Lee on as Kara approaches Sharon: "If it isn't the Fighting Agathons, huh?" Sharon tends to Helo before the next round and notes that Starbuck's running late as usual. "At least I got here in time to watch you kick the CAG's ass!" Kat advises Lee on the next round; Helo wows about how Lee's really coming after him. "He's a tough little fracker, I'll give him that." The Fighting Agathons are very hardcore but sweet with each other. Cottle watches the next round begin, cutely shadowboxing with himself. Dualla and Adama approach as Sharon and Starbuck watch. "Look at that," marvels Kara. "A couple months ago you would've had to roll him into this ring." Sharon nods without taking her eyes off Helo. "Not anymore. You know, with a cooler head, he might have half a chance." Kat and the crowd cheer, shouting Helo and Lee on.