Battlestar Galactica
Valley Of Darkness

Episode Report Card
Strega: B | Grade It Now!
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots

Hangar deck. One of the deck crew tells Apollo that only the "sound-powered phones" are working. Sound-powered? What? He adds that he hasn't been able to get through to CIC yet because the lines are jammed. They should really consider call waiting. Apollo mellowly suggests that they finish tidying up the hangar deck while he goes up to CIC.

CIC. Kelly listens to someone on the phone and then shares the good news: "Cylons reported in the starboard flight pod." The captioning says, "Sullen's reporting the starboard flight pod." Heh. That could be Apollo's new callsign. Kelly, as the officer in charge of stating the obvious, adds, "We've been boarded."

Apollo leads some pilots toward CIC. They shine their flashlights around like they're on The X-Files and cheerily trade combat stories, so imagine their surprise when they turn a corner and find a big Cylon Centurion standing in the corridor right in front of them. "Avon calling," the Cylon fails to say, before swatting at Flyboy. Judging by the resulting blood-spray, Cylons have sharp fingers. Yowch. To add insult to grievous bodily injury, the Cylon then swats Flyboy head over heels. Meanwhile, Apollo screams at everyone to get out of there. Everyone else just screams in a general way, and then runs and runs and runs.

Credits. "47,874 survivors." I guess they're putting the population total in the credits because the Prez didn't bring the Whiteboard of Extinction with her to the brig. Which shows a serious lack of foresight on her part. Now that I've caught up on the podcasts, I feel that I should report that the funniest bit of the commentary for last week's episode was during the big battle scene. Moore starts out talking about how hard it is to make the battle scenes interesting every time, and then after a minute or two he's saying, "Look at that! That's unbelievable! Whoa." It's cute. Plus, he's not wrong.

Hey, here's an ad for War of the Worlds, in which humanity is almost wiped out by implacable alien foes. But there's also an adorable, and unintentionally creepy, child in peril. Because it's Spielberg.

And now, back to the panicking. Apollo sends the pilots up a narrow ladder. He starts to follow, and then he slips back down, turns, and sees a Cylon advancing toward him. Apollo aims his gun and, according to the captions, shouts "Freeze!" Which would be hysterical, but I suspect he actually shouts, "Frack!" Apollo fires a few times at the Cylon, who doesn't seem to mind at all. Apollo looks at his gun like someone played a mean joke on him, and cringes as the Cylon stomps up and raises its hand to swat him. And then its head explodes. As the robot collapses, we see that it was blown up by some Marines down the corridor. Apollo catches his breath and calls up to Kat and Hotdog, who descend the ladder. Apollo looks at the Marines and gasps, "Sitrep?" The Marines quickly sum up the situation. One of the them mentions that only explosive rounds stop these Cylons, and Apollo eagerly asks how many rounds they have. "That was our last one," the Marine answers. Ah. Apollo pulls a little notepad out of his sleeve pocket and gives Hotdog a note to take to CIC. I assume it says something like, "Dear CIC, Hope you are well. I would like a peanut butter sandwich, and also some explosive rounds. Love, Apollo." Then Apollo leads Kat and the Marines out, saying, "Let's go toaster-shopping." Oh, Apollo. Don't quip.

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Battlestar Galactica




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