What's the first article of faith? "This is not all that we are." Samantha loses her sex drive, Charlotte marries a Jew and adopts an Asian baby, Miranda gets saddled with a very sudden and very demanding family, and Carrie leaves town: everything must turn into its opposite, for the same reason that the first colors in alchemy are black and white.

And you might say that I'm universalizing my shit, and you're right about that, but it doesn't make me wrong about the show. There is no "wrong about the show." But in this case, it's very much my shit: It's the same reason I love the Cylons and Sarah Porter and Gaius Baltar: somebody has to, and I don't really want to, so I have to. If I cross the territory from Me to You, I own mine, and yours, and all the land in between. And frankly, I think you'd find it more challenging to find a show that doesn't go there, if allowed to do so before getting cancelled, in the final season. The last thing in alchemy is gold. That's all these two poor nations are trying to find.

IN THE SHADE OF THE TREES

Natalie groans and wheezes, whispering and moaning nonsense, as they wheel her into sickbay. Unlawful discharge of a firearm. Cottle's team moves her onto a bed, cut up into her shirt, put on an oxygen mask. She's fading. On Colonial One the rumors are flying. Geminon is sure that Baltar was involved in the mysterious unplanned road tour of Roslin and the Rebels. Jacob Cantrell thinks it was one of "Adama's Marines" that shot a Cylon, causing the abduction. Jacob's been talking to Zarek again, I see: this is exactly what he needed to say, before Tom arrived, to set up Tom's power play against the possibility of another Gideon. Lee consults with the Marines at the door in a hush, wondering where the Veep is. Everybody wonders where the Veep is. I hope he fell in a big stupid hole.

Bill breezes right past some girl -- I think her name's Anastasia but I can't quite remember what she looks like -- into sickbay, to check on Natalie. Without Laura, he can't really think; he can't stomach the thought of talking to Zarek, so he ignores her and heads to Natalie's side. Tigh is already there. Saul reminds him in a hush that, as part of the alliance, they gave up half their wing. Kara can't even get a CAP together. Having checked on the rapidly failing Natalie, and Laura still not having materialized out of wishes and starlight, Adama heads off to scream at Athena for awhile.