Once Lisa has rejoined the group, Julie springs it on them that it's a tie. A tie! Jason looks ill. He looks at Marcellas and Amy and tells them that he cares about both of them, and it's a game (DRINK!), and he doesn't enjoy doing this...and then he uncorks my absolute favorite line, which is to look sadly at Marcellas and say, "You shoulda used the veto...I vote to evict you, Marcellas." Ha! Way to rub it in, baby! I enjoyed that. And for all his "I love you" and all his "no hard feelings" and all his "vote your conscience," it turns out that Marcellas meant they were supposed to vote their consciences to keep him, dammit, not to keep Amy! He gets up, infuriated, and storms into the bedroom, because...hee...he didn't pack everything. The cruel part of me finds this absolutely hysterically funny. Amy is breathing hard in the living room. Marcellas gives very cursory hugs to everyone, and then he heads for the front door. He picks up his bag, gives another kiss to all, and he's out! Out! Yaaaay! And it's not even my birthday. He's crying as he makes his way over to Julie, puts his bag down, and falls into Julie's arms. No, really. And then as Julie tries to guide him into the Chenterview area, he goes back to his bag. To get Boo. No, I'm not kidding. He goes back to bring the gnome to the Chenterview. It's like a teddy bear, only...not. Ah, a boy and his gnome. This show certainly never runs out of new and exciting ways to be really, really disturbing.
Inside the house, everyone hugs Amy. Danielle and Lisa hug, and you can see them both going, "What the...?" inside their heads. Then Danielle starts crying. Because this isn't what she thought evil would be like at all.
And in the best Chenterview moment of all time, Julie opens by saying, in her best newscaster voice, "First of all, Marcellas, I need to do this to you." And she smacks him on the back of the head with the interview card. No, she does! And it's funny! I think Julie hired herself a writer. And unlike Paula Abdul's writer, she got one who was recycled from the Catskills forty years ago. Marcellas goes on to say preposterously that he's not shocked, when it's obvious that he's completely gobsmacked. ["Sure, but he's also a drama queen. It's possible he exaggerated his shock in order for Jason's 'shoulda used the veto' line didn't upstage him for the millionth time." -- Wing Chun] This entire interview collapses into a recitation by Marcellas of his own selflessness ("I didn't play this game to win"), his high morals ("for me to change...wouldn't have been true to me!"), and his general high quality as a human being. Why did he play the game, Julie asks him, if not to win? Well, he says it was "an unbelievable opportunity...to learn something more about myself." She asks him what he learned about himself. "I am fantastic," he says. "I am fantastic!" The creepy part about the way he says this is that it's so obvious that he's so completely serious about it. He is stunned by how much better than everyone else he turned out to be. He is astounded by how great he is. He shakes his head a little, because he cannot believe it. He's laughing, but only in surprise. Go away, Marcellas. Far, far away. Julie shows him his farewell videos, and then she asks who he's rooting for. He tells her he's rooting for Lisa. Rather than Amy? That is just cold. Go home, you self-righteous prick. (Yes, I skipped saying very much about the videos. I can't stand listening to them tell him he's wonderful.)