Big Brother
Adultriumphant!

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Adultriumphant!

America's Choice tells us to choose someone for Eric to promise he'll take to the Final Two. Eric doesn't necessarily have to honor the promise. I'd beg America to vote for Jen, but we'll soon learn that's probably a futile hope.

In the HoH, Jen tries to suck up to Daniele, though she denies that's what she's doing. She apologizes for calling Daniele out for being a cheating ho-bag. Daniele takes the opportunity to ask Jen once again whether she was the phantom voter. Jen says she wasn't, and since she has absolutely no motivation to lie, Daniele believes her. I lost a little of the Jen Love right here, I have to be honest. If she's just going to kiss Daniele's ass too, what's the difference between her and the rest of these a-holes?

America's Player: Eric gets instructions to get someone nominated. That someone, voted by the American public, is: Jen. Oh fuck you, America. Seriously? Jen? We haven't all officially caught the snap about her yet? We haven't collectively turned the corner on what a sack-faced asshole Dick is yet? But no, it's Jen, a task which Eric all-too-gleefully says he'll be happy to accomplish. And thus, for the eighth consecutive year, Big Brother makes me sad to be an American.

Outside, by the hammock, we've got Dick, Daniele, Eric, Jameka, and Dustin. Dick and Eric are arguing about placing the blame for the phantom votes. Dick's saying they came from someone (uh...good one!), while Eric is trying to say that, while that may be true, making the leap that that someone is from their own alliance does them a disservice by sowing the seeds of dissension sooner than they need to. It's a fine point, except for the fact that, outside the LNC alliance, the only person who could have cast that second vote both times is Jen (Kail was a nominee; Zach's accounted for as the first dissenting vote). Which, I've already said, seems perfectly plausible to me, but not to Dick. And now that Dick has decided that Eric is his enemy in the house, he's given himself permission to treat Eric as shittily as he's been treating Kail and Jen. This should be fun to watch. So Eric tries to press his point, which enrages Dick, to the point where he sits up in the hammock and THROWS PILLOWS left and right. Seriously, the throwing of the pillows is done with the intensity that one might otherwise utilize when stabbing a transient to death. Dick is so angry right now and keeps yelling at Eric to shut up and stop trying to defend himself. He tries to get up from the hammock in a way that's very imposing and threatening, but...well, have you ever tried to stand up from a hammock? Hard to do it gracefully. So Dick flails at the hammock to stop getting in the way of his threatening to beat Eric up, essentially. It would be really funny if Dick weren't so thoroughly repulsive. So Dick rants and curses, and Eric tries to stick up for himself, but mostly just wets his pants in fear. Which is disappointing, and makes me want to get up in Dick's face as Eric's proxy, but that's not going to happen. ...This week.

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Big Brother

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